Morning blog

I talked with my sister about stuff. The construction may not happen this year as the contractor hasn’t given her the price and I guess we can’t get permits until we have one. I have no idea about that stuff.

I am still feeling depressed. I sent a message to my psych about whether we are ok or not because I have been in touch with her so much lately. She said she gets it because I’ve been in so much distress. That made me feel better. But the suicidal stuff remains. Not sure if the therapist can help me. I just feel so hopeless and other than my psych, don’t have much support around my issues. I have my online friends but some get it others put me down or blow me off. Ends up with me not reaching out because why bother. I won’t do group therapy again. I haven’t found one to really help with my issues and chronic pain. One excluded me because of my suicidal thoughts. Another one, a member told me I should just kill myself. That was totally helpful. I never went back after that.

Not sure what I am doing today. I still am not 100% awake. I only got up to take my meds and can’t really get back to sleep.

any thoughts?

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