From this moment

Shania Twain posted a pic of one of her wardrobes she was in for her video From This Moment. It was one of my favorite songs until my ex ruined it. But now, 20 years later, I can listen to it without memories flooding my brain.

Have not had a good day. Psych said it would not be in my “best interest” to be discharged today, which I was expecting as my weekend was shitty. The CM wanted me to make an appt to the pain clinic my pcp wants me to go to even though I have no fricken way of getting there. Uber is around $35 each way. I am going to try and see if there is a closer starting point so the ride may be cheaper. May end up taking the Uber home but going to try getting there differently. The appt is at the end of Oct, which gives me potentially time to get a public ride through my disability. The CM also wanted me to reschedule my appt with the therapist. Fricken woman has not answered my texts. She has asked me a few questions but ignored the question of times for next week. Right now the only time I am not available is Thursday afternoon as I am to see the psychopharm. The therapist wants to have the CM contact her for whatever reason. I might pass on the message.

For the first day of Fall in Boston was 91 (32) degrees today when the first day of summer was 76 (24). Weather in Boston is weird. We had freezing temps last week and this week it is hot and muggy. Pain levels have been crazy. I’ve been in a funk all day because my ankle has been hurting since last night. This afternoon I was hit with a migraine. Has to be because of pressure changes. Just been feeling blah since I woke up from my nap. Swear I have been here 2 weeks and I still am not used to waking up before 0800. By like 1400 I need a fricken nap and then mood wise I feel better. I am just not a morning person, especially when I don’t have caffeine in my system. Been “dry” since the 10th and I am craving it really bad. Tea only takes you so far. I also seemed to have given away more than I thought as I only have about 3 bags left. Oops. I thought I had more than that.

Had my flu shot today and my arm is sore. Was expecting it to be this way tomorrow not today. Glad it isn’t my dominant arm. Was feeling really paranoid right when I got the migraine. Was totally convinced another patient was going to whack me. She just kept on approaching me and was all in my face. Freaked me out. And the voices were no help. They just egged on the feelings.

Not sure who my contact person is tonight. I have the same RN I’ve had past few days. He is cool. The nursing staff here is better than the other place I was in in May. Hope pain doesn’t flare up again. Really don’t want to go to bed in pain again and wake up with it. I had to last night because I had no more BT meds to take. Fucking hate when I don’t have control over my damn meds. That is the frustrating part of being here. I can only take them the way they have been ordered. Sucks.

Tomorrow I am hoping to have a visitor. He isn’t from Boston so warned him on how traffic is but I don’t think he is listening lol. He will find out soon enough.

any thoughts?

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