tiring tuesday

Tiring Tuesday

I wanted to shave and shower today but it didn’t happen. I am too tired. I don’t know if it will happen tomorrow as I have groceries to be delivered and have therapy. I met with my psychiatrist today. We talked about my bladder issues and pain issues. Right before we were to meet, I had to use the bathroom and just made it there in time. I was a few minutes late but I didn’t care as I couldn’t hold it. My bowels were explosive today for some reason and I have taken any Miralax in a few days. My bladder has been urgent as well as I have been voiding for most of the day followed by cathing to make sure I am empty. It still hurts to void.

I had an hour after meeting with my psychiatrist to go to PT. I had something to eat and then got dressed. Arm was so sore today as well. I was moving it a lot and stupidly picked up the gallon of milk today as I made my mother her coffee. The PT said I am a candidate for dry needling as I am wicked tight. She made me feel better but sore. I need to put heat on but I am too tired. I just want to go to bed.

I had some waiting to do before the bus came after PT. It was cold out and my hands got very cold when exposed to the air so I had them in my pocket while waiting for the stupid bus. There must be some diversion with Tufts University as I seen a couple of shuttle buses ride by. They usually aren’t at that end of the road. I went to the pharmacy when I got close to home but the line was so fucking long and not moving so I left. I will pick up my meds tomorrow.

My 1619 Project book came today. I am so excited. I can’t wait to start reading it. I need to finish Medical Apartheid first. I am almost half way through the book but at the rate I am going I won’t be done until mid-December. I try to read at least two chapters but it is a hard read and sometimes I can’t even finish one. The cruelty whites have against Blacks just irks me so much. The last thing I read was how they wanted to exterminate the Blacks by sterilizing them. The author estimates at least 100,000 if not more were forcibly sterilized during the 1920s and 1930s. Some doctors even went as far as to kill Black infants because they wouldn’t survive otherwise. Sick. Just made me sick reading this.

I had a bowl of cereal for dinner. I was dizzy when I came home. I don’t know why. My blood pressure is good. I am probably dehydrated as I really haven’t had much to drink other than coffee today. I have been trying to drink fluids but I hate having to go to the bathroom so it is a catch 22. I just want to go to bed right now. I am so damn tired. The PT gave me “permission” to use the sling if I need it and to especially wear it around the house so I don’t lift things I am not supposed to. Going to fun carrying groceries up the stairs tomorrow. I will have to make twice as many trips because I can’t carry stuff with my arm.

any thoughts?

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