sad news

Sad news

I texted my BFF from childhood today and he called me. We spoke for about an hour or so catching up on things. He told me he lost his fiancé to Covid last week and his mother has brain cancer. He is really down about things and his young daughter is all that is keeping him going. I was broken hearted to hear this as he isn’t a depressive type. He is trying to get help but he doesn’t like the therapist he is seeing. I am glad he is trying to get help and be there for his daughter.

I’ve been in a mood since the phone call. It has been rough. I sent him a fruit basket as I didn’t know what else to do. I also sent his daughter a teddy bear. I feel so helpless about this. His grief was palpable and it kills me that he is going through so much. I wish I had a car so I could possibly babysit for him while he worked. He doesn’t live close to a bus line and it would be a pain to travel via public transportation to that area.

I showered today. I made lunch. My arm is hurting from these activities. I have been trying to keep it as still as possible but it is hard. I did the arm exercises while I was having coffee and eating my sandwich. I ordered Chipotle for dinner. My mother made her own thing for supper so I was on my own. I still might have another cup of coffee or cup of tea. I don’t know. I just want something soothing to drink.

I am tired. I was up a few times during the night because I had to empty my bladder but I was being stubborn about it. I didn’t want to get up as I was comfy. I went to bed before 8pm. I finally gave in to my bladder around 230 and was up for an hour before settling back down to sleep.

My new shipment of catheters came today. I still have two boxes left from the last order so I am not going to open the box yet. It still depresses me that I have to cath. I voided like three times yesterday but all three of the void had problems and I didn’t empty my bladder on none of them. I guess I am truly disabled.

I saw my cousin who has a substance abuse disorder. He looked the best I have ever seen him. I am really proud that he overcame his addiction and is healthy now. I follow him on Instagram and he has a cat that is so cute. It is a ginger and I love ginger cats.

I think I am going to read my book tonight. It has been a week since I last read. My books to be read pile keeps getting bigger. I just hope I can stay awake a little longer than I did last night. It is just my arm pain has been insane lately. I have been putting heat on to calm it down and relax the muscles as they are so damn tight. My PT wants me to use ice if it is really throbbing because that indicates inflammation. I hate using ice though.

any thoughts?

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