bad night of weird dreams

Bad night of weird dreams

I had another bad night of sleeping. I was up till around 3 as I was pissed off at my cousin and couldn’t settle down. She thought the reason I was stressed over my top surgery was because of my nerves. Which was totally wrong. I had texted her husband that I was nervous about the transphobe stopping my surgery and basically banning it as they had made a bill for Congress. I was reassured by my friend that I would have top surgery this year before a new Congressional members are sworn in. But my cousin went on trying to get me to “settle” down by telling me to calm down and breathe. That really pissed me off. I feel like she has no clue about how to deal with me and it shows. I told her she was wrong and then she asked well what I am stressed about. So I told her and then I said to not tell me to calm down as that pisses me off. No response as of yet.

I just wanted to sleep as I was closing my eyes as I was sitting up. I was in pain with my ankle. My leg had flared up and it was so hard dealing with the pain. Then when I finally did get some sleep, I kept on having weird dreams and shit. They were disturbing. I would wake up to pee and every time I went back to sleep, the weird dream happened again but about something different. I took my morning meds around 6 when I woke up so that the alarm wouldn’t go off at 730. I slept a few hours of restless sleep till 10 and then I got up. I am glad I still had the do no disturb on because just as I took it off, I had received a call from my cousin. If he woke me up, I would have been pissed for calling me so damn early.

When I got up, I emptied my bladder and then I brushed my teeth and shaved my head, just the sides and back. I love how it feels. It is high maintenance but it feels so good. I even used the clippers to even out a line and didn’t screw it up. I ended up nicking behind my ear. I always seem to do this. Then I made some oatmeal and coffee. I put too much water in the coffee maker as it leaked water. I hate when this happens. I thought I filled it just to the line but apparently I went over. I might make iced coffee later.

It’s Sunday so I need to do my med boxes for the week. I got a message from uro and I can see the PA that has been returning my messages. He said that I shouldn’t restart the tolterodine as it does the opposite of what we want it to do. Looks like I am going to be put on a high priced medication again for my bladder. I’ll make the appointment with the PA tomorrow.

I got a new zit forming so I got out the benzoyl peroxide cream that I have and put it on the areas that were all red and on the back of my neck. It gave me a chance to be naked for a little bit in the AC. It feels good not to have a shirt on. I really am looking forward to the day when I can be shirtless on hot days.

Even though it is hot in my kitchen, I want dino nuggets and fries so will be turning on the oven. I hate to do it but I am hungry and I don’t want the nuggets to go to waste as they have been in my fridge for a while. My mother made beef soup instead of stew. She couldn’t get the water to thicken to make it stew. Oh well. It was good anyways, though the meat was bland. I loved the potatoes though. I think that will be my dinner tonight, again.

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