a burger and a coke

A burger and a coke

I wasn’t planning on having anything but Ensure today but I have been craving a burger so I got it today. It was good. I listened to Mary Chapin Carpenter as I ate it. I had planned on mailing a somethings but I still have not left the house. I got the fuck its bad today. I just want to stay in bed all day. My new razor came today. I am on the fence on shaving now. I don’t know if I want to grow my beard or shave. It is a good length right now so I really don’t want to mess with it. I’ll let it grow some more then decide.

I had therapy this morning. We talked about DBT skills and DBT itself. We went over the STOP skill. She showed me a video on it. It was a cute video and really animated how to use the STOP skill. STOP stands for Stop, Take a step back, Observe, Proceed. I think I can use it when I have the distress feelings like I did last night.

The surgeon’s office called today. Figures the one time I don’t take my phone to the bathroom I get an important phone call! I need to callback Wed as she is out tomorrow. UGH. It is going to happen! I cannot fricken wait! I am so damn excited.

I need to take a shower because I don’t know when the last time I took one and I stink. I think I will take it before bed, right before I am to take my night meds. I bought some more face wash as someone keeps using my stuff. I found my shaving cream in the shower. I haven’t used it in three months so it wasn’t me that put it there. I still am missing my fusion razor. I am pissed it is missing because I had a Patriots handle. The new razor is the latest line in the Gillette series called Labs. We’ll see how good it is.

I finished the Linehan memoir last night. The last three chapters were a breeze. Now I am debating should I go back to Dune or should I read some more suicidology books. I do have another memoir to read that I bought that is psych related. A psychiatry resident wrote about his first year. It wouldn’t be the first time I read a book like this. House of God was similar.

I sent my pcp my blood pressure readings for the week. They have been high and my pulse has been high as well. I also asked them how to go about changing my sex legally as my birth certificate is basically wrong. I had to renew my license and because they now have a “REAL ID”, I had to use it as a legal thing. I still haven’t gotten anything from the RMV about a date going to get my ID. I hope it is before my license expires. All these fucking little quirks to just be who I am.

any thoughts?

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