just tired

Just tired

I didn’t sleep well again last night so I have been in bed for most of the day today. I only got up to have a cup of coffee and to use the bathroom. I feel really blah and tired. I haven’t made an effort to have something to eat. I am not really hungry. I have been up since 4 am and I just went out to get my prescriptions. It was a quick trip as I made the return bus home.

I ordered groceries to be delivered today. They should come in the middle of the afternoon. I ordered stuff to make my chicken wings. I make this sticky chicken wing recipe that is out of this world. I still haven’t had a meal in a day and a half. I just had coffee and some cookies with it. I just am not hungry. I have food in the house so that isn’t the issue. I still have my frozen dinners and black bean burgers. Maybe I will make a burger for lunch. I just had an Ensure last night to take with the pill I need 350 cals for.

I am going to try and write up the page I wrote in the hospital that started my book. I don’t think it will be close to 500 words. I had written one thing in a notebook and then while transferring it to another notebook so the nurse could read it, changed everything and added more shit. There is a ton of stuff I could write on and expand on.

I am still waiting for my ID. I should get word about my birth certificate maybe next week. That will start off the New Year on a good start even though it will be hard with my mother’s diagnosis and her recovery from hip surgery. She was able to walk further today in PT. She might come home tomorrow.

My heart rate has been high today. I came up the stairs and my heart was racing. My pulse was 157. After I came home and up the stairs it went down to 122. I can tell it is still beating fast. PT should be awesome trying to do cardio. The treadmill or the bike is going to be a challenge. Just hope the PT doesn’t freak out too much about it. My BP is good today and my pulse is now 93. I am happy it is coming down.

I have no appetite and I am worried my depression is getting worse. It is one of the signs that is worrisome to me. Add in the exhaustion and no motivation and you got a depressive episode that is rearing its ugly head. I have Ensure that I could drink so I can have some calories. I have been drinking Gatorade so I am keeping up with fluids.

I need to take a shower. I bought one of those loofah balls so that I can use my shower gel. I had bought one before but I don’t know what my sister did with it when she cleaned the shower. I am currently washing towels as the hamper was overflowing with them. There wasn’t that much clothes after you took the towels out but enough for a load. I need to shave my head today so maybe I will shower before the groceries get here.