There was nothing more that I wanted to do today than sit on my bed and read my book. Wasn’t meant to be, at least not right now. I had my niece’s birthday party to attend. It was good. My cousin came over and it is his birthday tomorrow so we celebrated him and he cried. I felt so much emotion for him. I haven’t seen him in a long while but I am glad he came.
Yesterday was a bad day but at the end of the day it turned good. My mother wasn’t feeling well. She had invited her siblings over for lunch and they all came over. She was in bed for most of the day. Then my aunt took a seizure and we had to rush her to the hospital. She is still in the hospital but doing better. It was very scary. Everyone was upset and crying. I just hope she doesn’t have to stay in the hospital too long.
Then the end of the night my niece shows up with an engagement ring! Everyone was so happy for her. I was so happy. It was just the elation needed to end the day.
Right now most of the family knows my mother has cancer. Today it is hitting me hard. I want to cry but can’t find the tears. I am really sad. I have therapy tomorrow to talk about this. I have had such a difficult relationship with my mother and even though she has cancer, she still treats me the same, as her “daughter” instead of a son. I don’t know what to do about this. It bothers me but there is nothing I can do about it. It makes me think I should give up but I can’t stop being me.
I got an email from UMB. I got accepted! Looks like I will be attending in the fall if I can financially manage it. I should hear something about this in the coming weeks.