Random 812

I intended to write another blog last night but sleep overcame me and I didn’t write. I woke up around midnight with my nose clogged up. I couldn’t breath. I tried every method I could think of to open the clogged nostril to no avail. Then I got tired and went back to sleep.

Sleep didn’t last long. A couple of hours at best. And now I am up, least until I decide if I am going to make breakfast or go back to slumber. My back is hurting, probably because of the temp fluctuations. It has gone from zero degrees to fifty-five to back down to thirty-three. My back doesn’t like this. It’s hard to stand up and move. I hurt so bad

Last night, my father was taken to the ER. He was complaining of being short of breath. I don’t know what the outcome of the visit was other than his INR was 7.4. Now I got to call his doctor’s office and see what they want to do. Fuck. It was 1.3 last week. Balancing his INR levels are so damn tricky. He hasn’t been stable with them in quite a while. It’s driving me crazy. I found out from my sister that they admitted him. My sister wanted to know if I wanted to visit him but it’s too close to my appointment time with my therapist so I said no. Plus, the stupid drop in temp by 20 degrees has me stiffer than an ironing board. I can’t move without pain. Back is all tight. So it doesn’t look like I will be going out again today.

I am starting to feel cooped up. I hope the pain meds eases up my back as well as the Ativan. I really want to get started on my research. I didn’t want to do it at the house, but it doesn’t look like I am having a choice. Or maybe I should just give up my research.

I feel like drinking gin. Maybe when I have my big blow out, I will have some. If I didn’t take my meds, I probably would have a shot. I don’t care that it’s before noon. Maybe it will help sleeping for a while, too. It probably isn’t going to help my back but maybe it will hurt a little less.

I haven’t heard back from the PT people. I am tired of calling people and then they don’t call back. I think I am going to have to fax my prescription to the office and then maybe they will call me. Trouble is I don’t have a fax machine. I would have to call my neurosurgeon’s office and have them do it. I really don’t want to go to another PT session but I think it will help. If I can just learn the exercises to get rid of my hip pain and my thigh pain, I will be alright!

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Random 812

  1. Marie Isabelle Snyder says:

    What is a big blow out if you don’t mind me asking? I am sorry about your dad. My mom was not well when I was younger and it was really hard. You can email me anytime at maribelle.snyder at hotmail dot com.

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