I woke up around 1am to take my antibiotic and couldn’t go back to sleep. I was up most of the night. I read some and wrote some. I felt like shit and it continued to the day. I woke up around 11 and had my first cup of coffee. I canceled my dentist appointments. I feel like I need to be back in the hospital but because of the ongoing chest issues, I can’t go in just yet.
I went to the clinic for my chest check. I still had fluid on the right side. I decided for them to put a wick in but they had trouble placing it. So they aspirated the fluid. It wasn’t a lot but enough. I need to come back next week. On the train ride home there was a lady that just was singing and yelling a lot. I have no idea what her problem was. I think she had mental illness of some kind.
I ordered Chinese food for supper. It was the only thing I ate all day. I had messaged my psychiatrist about drinking Ensure for my night time Latuda dose and he was fine with it. I told him I still am not eating right. I have just one meal a day, most days. If I don’t eat because I am not hungry, I will have a couple of protein Ensures.
I have the VNA coming Thursday. I have a wound on the right side now as they had to cut me to try and get the wick in. I have to put antibiotic ointment on it with a bandage. I will shower tomorrow as I need to shave my armpits so they don’t smell so bad. I sweat so much. I get hot at night when I am under the covers despite my room being cold.
I reached out to my therapist about how I have been feeling. I am glad we are meeting tomorrow. Listening to Bon Jovi and it is helping my mood. I love their music. Wish I had more 80s music but there are so many one hit wonders throughout the decade. It would cost a fortune to collect all my favorites. I am sure if I listen to Pandora I can get a playlist of some kind. I loaded Linkin Park to my laptop last night and listened to the live album of Meteora20. It was pretty cool. I miss Chester so much. His talent is unmatched.