therapy on a rainy day

Therapy on a rainy day

I woke up a couple of hours before my therapy appointment. I could hear the rain beat against my AC and window. I didn’t want to get up but I had to pee. My nephew was in the bathroom so I went to the kitchen. It was pouring out but no leaks in the house. Sometimes when it is windy and rainy we get a little water in the house. I went to the bathroom and then went up to my room to take my meds. I had some messages on my phone so I looked through them after I took my meds. My pcp responded to the message I sent over the weekend. She said the iron was ok but the B2 could be increased. She said she will wait until I see my neuro before making changes to see if they help my headaches.

I had two cups of coffee before therapy. Therapy was tough. She continued with the EMDR and today was more intense than last week. I was triggered a few times and it was really difficult. We talked about the trauma my mother put me through, trying to focus on one memory was hard. I had so many in the shower, even as an adult. I just had to make a shower longer while she was in the bathroom just so she didn’t see me naked. She had me transfer to an EMDR website and I don’t think she is going to drop this. I have never seen a therapist that sees past my target moving stuff. This shit is hard.

I have tried writing the review for the book Critical Suicidology. I was getting my notes together and found I didn’t write a short review of chapter four. I might have to re-read it as I don’t really remember what it was about. I should be able to write this thing in the next few days.

I got another migraine. I had to shut the ceiling fan off because the air movement was hurting my head. I took a shower today and shaved the sides and back of my head. I also shaved my face around the goatee. I like how the goatee looks so I think I am going to keep it for a while. I have been talking to a woman on the new social app BlueSky. She is into women so I don’t have a chance with her. She is wicked cute though.

I have been listening to my ERAS playlist with all of Taylor’s songs. It’s a good mash up of songs when I don’t feel like listening to a particular album. I cannot wait till 1989 TV comes out in a few weeks.