Such a down day
I got up late and had coffee. I made some hash browns with eggs for a kind of brunch. The only thing I had on my agenda was to do some schoolwork and attend a webinar later in the afternoon. I shaved before it. I am getting used to doing it every other day. I need to shower tonight. I also need to do my history homework. I don’t feel like doing anything. I am so depressed today. But seeing Jobes today helped. He had a slide about life worth living. He just makes me hopeful things won’t always be awful.
My left foot and calf has been bothering me most of the day. The foot I know is because of CRPS. The calf I have no idea why it is bothering me. Usually if I stretch it a lot it hurts but I haven’t. Maybe the walking is hurting it.
I took Honey for a short walk as she got all excited when we said the word. I just took her around the block and back. I wasn’t going around the full block because I didn’t have the energy for it. I barely had energy for the half a block. I was sweating even though it was cool out. My legs have been cold all day. I have shorts on. I will change to longer pants when I shower.
I woke up in the middle of the night so I read the gender chapter. It was interesting and I actually understood what it was talking about. It wasn’t talking in like a voice you had to guess what they were talking about. I hate books like that. Some of the clinical books are like that. It was good to know that brief CBT was still one of the treatments for suicidal ideation. That book I had trouble with.
Taylor is coming out with a new song on Fri. I cannot wait. I am listening to folklore again. I didn’t know what to listen to today. The album is corrupted as my MP3 app no longer counts the time I play the songs. I am not going to buy another album. But I might because I want exile on my top 25 list. I love that song.
I am tired. Sox game is on tonight. Tolle is on the mound. I want to listen to the game as there are only a few left in the regular season. They are going to the playoffs. Something I find incredulous. I honestly didn’t think they would get this far. But I remember my cousin said to hold out for a miracle and I secretly hoped there would be a winning streak. And there was. 17 games. Fucking amazing. But we got to play the snakes in the playoffs so it is going to be tough. One game at a time.
