Author: Midnight Demon

Trans remembrance day and other stuff

Today is Trans remembrance day and I want to remember the life of my fellow blogger Ty Miles. He had a mental health blog and sadly took is life a few years ago, for reasons I am not quite sure I will ever know. He was a dear friend who supported NAMI by going on walks and stuff. Hope he continues to rest in peace.

I found out this morning my friend died. He had been declining in health all year and sadly I think he passed alone in a nursing home. I got the call before 7 am so not sure when he passed. He will be missed by all who knew and loved him.

I didn’t sleep all night. I had fallen asleep before 8pm last night and then woke up a little after 1am. I tried to go back to sleep but couldn’t and then pain erupted in my ankle. That took some doing to get it to calm down. I managed a few hours sleep and woke up with a severe headache again made worse by the brightness of the day when I opened my bedroom door. I keep my window blocked from light so I really have no idea if the sun is out or not. I wish there could be a dimmer switch sometimes. I went and took some coffee from my sister. I had a cup and then I brushed my teeth and shaved. It felt good to shave. The bad part was that my back decided I was to be a crooked man today as straightening out was difficult. I just felt stiff. It was a challenge to shave the back of my head.

I checked the bus schedule when I got to my room. I wanted to leave before I got tired again from lack of sleep. I hadn’t eaten anything and by the time I got home, I was feeling a little dizzy. I picked up my meds and one of the pharmacies was a long line. I stood and my back wanted to divorce me. I had to sit when I saw the bench as my hamstrings were killing me. I made something to eat when I got home. It was cold today so the oven took forever to preheat. I had just left the house with a hoodie and was comfortable. My room’s temp had dropped so I had to put on a long sleeve shirt. My bad tooth got irritated by the hot food. I think I now know which tooth needs the root canal.

I am not doing anything else today. I might read for a bit. I might nap too. I don’t have to leave the house again till Turkey day. I have therapy tomorrow and I hope these headaches and post headache crap is done by then. I am really grumpy, mostly because I don’t feel good. My niece and nephew are home. My nephew keeps swearing out loud at his game, then will race downstairs to have a cigarette. I hate that he smokes but it’s his life.

I’ve had a migraine since I woke up around this morning. I thought it went away but around noon my head was going to explode and I’ve been in pain since. Nothing has helped. I’ve tried napping but couldn’t really sleep. It really sucks because for the first time in weeks I had at least 7 hours straight of sleep, then another 4 or 5 hours before getting up sometime after 11.

I never went to pick up my meds. Bus schedule on Sundays suck and I didn’t want to get stuck for an hour at the Square so I didn’t leave the house. My headache is so bad my hair hurts so I haven’t been able to shave. I brushed my teeth, though. Also did my med boxes for the week. I sent a message to my primary to see if she is amenable to going up on the neurontin. What I’m taking doesn’t seem to be affective like it was. Ankle prevented me from resting. I got a knife feeling right in the joint. My left leg has felt cold all day. Don’t know why. It is cool but not cold out and my room is ok. Maybe kind of chilly but I like it that way.

I don’t have plans for tomorrow aside from getting my meds. Might go to Starbucks. I don’t know. I’m running low on coffee. I’m hoping I can steal some from my sister. I have to put in a grocery order this week and an Amazon order. I’ve found the Belvita is cheaper on Amazon than the grocery store. Also will get coffee. That is a must!

Saturday Blog 18112023

I woke up a few times last night with severe headaches. I took my immediate migraine med around 430ish and waited for it to work before going back to sleep. I woke up a couple of hours later with the same damn headache. The doc said my headaches might get worse before they get better. I am so sick of this cycle. Either I don’t sleep during the middle of the night or I wake up with headaches. It is really stressing me out and making me so tired throughout the day. I have no energy to do the things I need to do.

I got up around 1130ish. I took my meds and then used the bathroom. I made coffee. My brother in law was going to take me to the grocery store. I had to buy a few things including some bread as we were out. If I had known the other day when I went, I would have bought some. I was done in like ten minutes. My brother in law picked me up and there was traffic on the way home so I didn’t get to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. I might go out again but I need to shave and shower and brush my teeth.

I came home and had something to eat and another coffee. I am so tired but I need to shower as I was sweating during the night so I stink. I sent a message to my psychiatrist about all this interrupted sleep. It is just stressing me out. I have been meaning to take my recycle out for two weeks now and still haven’t had the energy to do it. I need to make a clearing for my AC so it can be taken out of the window. I also need to play with my printer and hope I didn’t break it because it will cost around $300 for a new one. This one isn’t that old. I hope that the old toner has what make it is on it so I can buy the right one this time. I am so angry I bought the wrong one even though it said it was the right one on the website.

I got post migraine headache and feel like shit. Least I have food for the week. I built a cart of items and it is close to $200. I am not sure I can afford that this month because I have that high copay for the eye doctor to pay. Both of my eyes are watery today and now the right eye is becoming irritated. I would like to get another pair of glasses but I just can’t afford that right now. I still haven’t heard back from UMB about financial aid. Might wait till Dec before I email the office to find out if I got any. I know I got a grant but it’s only for $600 and my bill will be $4k. I might just pay what I can until the bill is paid off as I really want to attend college next semester.