What’s your all-time favorite album?
This is so hard to choose just one. Mary Chapin Carpenter’s Stones in the Road and Taylor Swift’s Fearless TV is a tie. I also like Mary Chapin’s Come on, Come On album as second.
Pearl Jam Ten and VS, Soul Asylum Grave Dancer’s Union. Are all my top favorites as well as Linkin Park’s Meteora.
In a mood
I woke up around noon and I was in such a mood. I got a message from my pcp asking why I needed my pain meds refilled because it was only 2.5 weeks since it was filled and apparently, ten pills was supposed to last me 30 fucking days. I have had a lot of pain recently so I told them this. I still haven’t received a refill yet. Ugh. I hate this bullshit. Then I read that the GOP republicans in the House aren’t getting their spending cuts so we are probably going into another shutdown of the government. Great. Means my sister will be furloughed or not paid. I am so mad.
I had to get more half and half as there was none. I tried having a cup of coffee with my sister’s creamer and it was not coffee. I don’t know what it was. I drank like ¾ of it and then dumped it. I had to go to the grocery store. My phone needed to be charged so I figured I would go when it was. I left the house with cab vouchers and no headphones. I only had $20. I bought literally three things, turkey breast, half and half, and some pre-made chicken for lunch. It came to over $21. I had to use my debit card for like $2. I am glad I am getting paid on Monday. I need to go there again and get something for my cousins get together Tuesday. I have no idea what to get them so I am thinking a cheese platter of some kind. And some soda I like because they told me to get something I like to drink. I forgot to get some Gatorade. I only have four bottles left before I can put in my grocery order for the month. The lemon-lime is out of stock right now. If they don’t become in-stock by the time I place my order, I will have to go to the store and get some.
I left the store as it was a nice day and went to what I thought was a bus stop. Turns out they fucking moved it so I had to walk two blocks to catch the bus. Luckily, the next bus was at a red light so I could board. I am so fucking mad. My city keeps doing shit like this and letting the T get its way. If I wasn’t feeling good, there was no way for me to have walked the two blocks. I would have had to go back to the store to have a cab take me home. Just kills me because I used to be able to walk from that location to my house nearly every day when I worked in that area.
I came home and ate the chicken I bought and made a decent cup of coffee. I ate slow so I wouldn’t have to worry about choking. Some of the chicken was dry so I was careful. It sucks I have to eat mindfully all the time. I can’t eat fast or I might take a too big of a bite and then have problems swallowing it. Just sucks.
I need to take a shower and shave. It has been only two days since my last shave and already I am having some hair on my face again. I have to do something about my mustache because it’s all over the place. I might trim it again. I don’t know. Maybe I will try and get it like my Uncle had his. I can experiment now that I have a decent trimmer. Just hope I don’t mess up and have to take it off.
What would your life be like without music?
My life would be extremely sad and dull. I need music like I need air.
Eight years ago
Eight years ago, my article for the New York Times was published (https://archive.nytimes.com/opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/09/08/love-hate-and-suicide/?_r=0)
It was a very proud moment for me. I felt I made it as a writer. It was fitting it was published during Suicide Prevention Month, which is September. This is why I wanted to publish my review before September ended.
I am not having a good day. I woke up a few times with severe headaches. And then while eating my lunch, I felt some food get stuck. It wasn’t but it felt like it. I didn’t choke though. I thought no one was home but my nephew was. It freaked me out some. I shouldn’t have cooked the burger so much but I kind of forgot about it as it was cooking so it dried out. Still feels like something is stuck but I am not having a problem swallowing. I think it is just a phantom sensation.
I think I am going to try and go out tomorrow. I have no more cream for my coffee. I haven’t left the house all week. I need to shower but I don’t think it will be today. I am too tired to try. I made a mistake the last time I showered while tired and nearly slipped and fell. I don’t get the new mat until next week when I get paid. I just want to nap. Think I might.
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