Author: Midnight Demon

My mother is having a good day so far. I am exhausted having been up most of the night because my room was freezing as the storm brewed. I forgot to turn off my ceiling fan so it got pretty cold. Didn’t help that my sister kept going up and down the stairs as she left for her trip early this morning.

I am feeling run down. I have no energy. I started decreasing my calorie intake in an effort to lose weight before my surgery. Twenty-four days. I need to drink more as I think I got dehydrated last night. I felt dizzy and lightheaded. All I basically had was coffee and Ensure. No other fluids. I am going to try and drink some gatorade.

My room is still cold because of the wind. It seems to have stopped snowing. I need to do a little food shopping as I am out of my cookies that I like to have with my coffee. I’ll see if my cousin can take me to the store next week. I have a busy week next week. I have therapy, PT, and see my surgeon. I also have my pre-anesthesia phone call. I am nervous about seeing the surgeon. I am going to ask if I can be on the pain meds I was on before for post op pain.

My sisters are on a trip and won’t be back until the following Sunday. It just will be my niece and I taking care of my mother. We have a few hospice related visits next week as well. Hopefully it will be an easy week.

Wicked tired today so here is a pic

I made a few phone calls today. Mostly just took care of my mother most of the day. Today was a better day.

I’ve been feeling tired most of the day despite two cups of coffee. I tried to watch the game but they weren’t calling the game I wanted so I shut the damn TV off. I got aggravated. The game wasn’t on the radio for some reason. We won so that is all that counts.

I’ve been feeling blah all day. I called my insurance company as they have a case manager thing and they will be looking for support groups for me. I have a meeting in about a half hour for FTM. I will check it out. It meets once a month over zoom. It will be my first meeting. I am kind of nervous.

I plan on taking a shower before bed but it depends when the group lets out. I might have to take it tomorrow. My leg is still sore from yesterday. My knee has been hurting all day. Every time I stood up, it hurt. Hope I am not getting arthritis.

I had to leave the group after an hour as I got triggered and got wicked anxious. They were talking about gender roles and I just couldn’t deal. I guess the dysphoria got the best of me. I just felt like even though I belonged there, I didn’t belong. Hopefully when I talk to my therapist Mon about it, I can sort it out. I just feel bad as the rest of the country is going ape shit over trans issues. Kentucky is the latest state to file a ban on trans youth. WTF. I am glad I live in Massachusetts.

Bulldog mom and pup