Author: Midnight Demon

Exciting news!!

After months of anxiety waiting for my top surgery consult appointment to happen, today was the day! I had made plans last week with my therapist about what to do if things went poorly and surprisingly, having those things in place helped my anxiety for the week. However this week was a clusterfuck of anxiety as I have had to deal with my pain meds needing prior authorization, caths still needing documentation for a complete order, and fighting with the weight center to get an appointment with a dietitian.

Before I left for my appointment, caths were approved so the rest of my order is being shipped today. I will get them next week. I made the appointment with the dietitian the other day after I have to sign some paperwork as Medicare won’t cover the claim. My prior authorization was still pending when I called so I have to call tomorrow to find out if it has been approved. I forced myself to have something to eat before I left so I made a scrambled egg sandwich. Then it was time to go.

For the first time since I have been using the cab company for my appointments, the cab was late. I was late for my appointment and was freaking out. I got there fifteen minutes late and of course I had new patient paperwork to fill out. I don’t know why they have these forms for someone who has their care at the hospital. You’re basically rewriting your medical record into these papers. The only thing that I had to sign was the consent to be photographed for before and after operation.

The surgeon came in with a scribe and someone else. He didn’t make introductions. Just got right to the point. He was really handsome and nice. He went over the procedure and things. I don’t think I will be getting dog ears, just drains which I will I be able to do myself. I won’t need nursing care to come to the house. And then he left. I WILL BE GETTING TOP SURGERY!! I got dressed and then went out of the room asking what to do. His NP introduced herself and then lead me to the scheduling coordinator. I couldn’t believe this was happening. It was like fifteen minutes for everything. I will be having the surgery in Dec. In September, they will put the claim through to my insurance. If approved, I can move up the date if I want.

I walked to the station rather than call a cab home as I needed to go to the pharmacy to give them my insurance information. I am using a new pharmacy this month as the other one never seems to have my meds in stock. I run out Sun so I need to make sure there are no glitches by tomorrow. When I got to the pharmacy, there was already dates on when I could get my meds so they couldn’t process them yet. I have no idea if the prior authorization went through. The lady I spoke with today said to check the website. I did when I came home and had no PAs pending so I think I am almost all set. Just need to call tomorrow to confirm. I am nervous as fuck about this. It is a new dose as my pcp changed things around.

I am so tired but I should be able to sleep good tonight. I can’t wait till I see my therapist on Mon. I just hope I am not in a brain fog like I was our last session. It is in the afternoon and I can lose energy around that time.

I want to nap

I went to bed early last night, waking up only once but able to get back to sleep. I mostly slept on my side the whole night. I woke up with my back ribs hurting. The muscles were so damn tight and painful. I had to take a pain med and loraz to calm it down. Then I took my morning meds so I wouldn’t be disturbed if I fell back to sleep. I did for about an hour as I got up around 0900. I had a bowl of cereal and my coffee. It wasn’t really hot yet but there was a breeze coming through the kitchen.

After I finished, I went back to my room and finished BATA. I took a little break from reading and went to doomscroll on Twitter. Nothing interesting was happening so I went downstairs to brush my teeth and put some cold water on my face. I then shaved. I am trying to keep my goatee from growing in.

I came back to my room and read a little of the suicidal thoughts workbook. I am half-way through that book. I have four chapters left. It is a good book. I plan on writing a review when I finish it, both on goodreads and Amazon. When I was finished with the chapter, it was close to lunch time so I asked my niece if she wanted something from the pizzeria. She just wanted a salad. I called and placed the order for a sub, fries, and a salad. $34 and I didn’t even use Grubhub or UberEats! Not ordering from them next time. I will order some place else.

I had called my mail order company and got the PA re-faxed. The RN at my PCP’s office got it and sent it in. Now we wait. I have three days before it is approved. I will call Wed and see where they are at. I need to have my script before the weekend or I am going to run out of my pain meds. The anxiety with this and the upcoming top surgery consult is not going well.

Well, I have tried to get the 2^nd edition of Treating Suicidal Behavior from different sellers and I keep getting the 1^st edition. I now have three copies. I am returning two of them, I just don’t know if I want to keep the hardcover or not. I asked the author if the 2^nd edition is available. It might be out of print. I don’t know. I am frustrated as I have never had difficulty buying a book before.

I finally have an appointment with a dietitian after arguing with the secretary. I have to sign some paperwork in case my insurance won’t cover the appointment. So stupid they weren’t even going to try to bill my secondary insurance, they just wrote it off as this won’t cover so that won’t either. Assholes. Then you wonder why obesity is such a problem in America. This is why. The insurance is a problem and sometimes it is the people submitting the billing that are the problem.