Category: depression

The moment I knew

My sister and I woke up around the same time to pee. I waited for her to go and then I went. I tried to go back to sleep and couldn’t so I worked on my paper. I finally started the thing at like 5 this morning. I wanted coffee but it was too early to go to my sister’s apartment. I wasn’t sure I was writing anything good. And then my sources ran out and I didn’t know what else to write. I only had read a few papers. I read one paper today that I will go on about as it is important. I would have written more but I got a wicked headache/migraine and that ended things. It seems around late afternoon, the headaches start. I don’t know if it is because I need food or I am tired or what.

My niece was baking things so I went downstairs to see her. My sister was doing stuff, too. Making weird stuff. I haven’t quite decided what to wear tomorrow. I think I am going to wear sweatpants. I thought about just wearing my pajamas so I wouldn’t have to change. But I won’t. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so, even though it is my aunt’s house.

Yesterday, I got the new migraine med. It was two shot and they both hurt. I don’t know how far apart the injections need to be. I guess the pharmacy will tell me or I will ask my doc. I think I see the NP next month or later this month. I got a call from the therapy place this morning reminding me I have an appointment on Monday. They used my deadname. I am going to get it fixed on Monday.

Eyes about to pop

I got up kind of late. Had a cup of coffee and was kind of grumpy about it because I had to go downstairs to make it. I only had one cup. My sister made chocolate chip cookies so that was my breakfast. I then took a shower and my back cramped up royally. It took forever to calm down. Then I got cramps in my sides. I ended up taking a cab to the hospital because it was getting late and taking the T was going to put me close to closing of the lab. My back cramped while on the ride over.

I took the T home. I went to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. The new migraine med was the wrong dose so I didn’t pick it up. My neuro office needs to straighten it out tomorrow. I hope I don’t need another prior authorization for the loading dose. That would be three authorizations for this med. I went to Starbucks and got a mocha and their new turkey Danish. It was good. On the ride home, I got a splitting headache where I felt like my eyes were going to pop. I only got the mocha because I needed espresso so I could work on my paper. I need to have a draft due by Sunday. I am not going to take anything for this headache. I think it is a rebound headache.

My test results came back normal, as I knew they would be. I feel so miserable. My trunk muscles are cramping and my back muscles are too. I need to take something for them. I took an extra magnesium. I still have a muscle relaxer. All I did was shower and my muscles were set off. I hate showering. I had to sit a few times. Back started flaring up after I trimmed my mustache and brushed my teeth.

I need to go to the grocery store tomorrow to get a few items for Thanksgiving. I wanted to get some gin but the new med affects the liver so I am not going to drink. I start it tomorrow. I really hope it is more helpful than the Topamax.