Category: depression

Hotter weather is already driving me crazy

It’s only been like two days but the weather is warmer and I hate it. I am sweating and I can’t get comfortable in bed. I woke up at 2 to pee and was up the rest of the night. I ended up reading my book for a bit. I read like two chapters. Then I slept most of the day. I didn’t want to get out of bed. There was nothing really for me to do anyway aside from reading my book.

I have been in a mood the last few hours. Psychache is up. I just feel so depressed. I can’t even put my thoughts to words anymore. I am so tired all the time.

I have therapy tomorrow. I am going to try and send her an email saying that I am actively suicidal but I don’t know if I will or not. I don’t see what the point of it will be.

I had ice cream for dinner. I didn’t want anything else. It is all I have eaten today. I just had one cup of coffee. But I drank powerade throughout the night. I just have an opposite schedule.

Exam and stuff

I passed my exam. I am so happy. It is the only high mark of the semester. The professor thinks I will be able to pass as I am doing better in everything else. I hope so. I am nervous though.

I couldn’t get myself to leave the house today. I just felt so damn depressed. Then I read the news today and I just want to fucking die. The country has really turned into a white supremist state and now the stupid republicans have voted to deport US citizens. I don’t want to live any more. Once the semester is over, I am going to end things. I don’t care. I don’t know when I will do this. The psychache is so intolerable.

It was cold today. Temp dropped by ten degrees. I didn’t leave the house. I just stayed in bed most of the day. I tried to sleep but I couldn’t. I am going to read my book tonight. Game is on but I am not really interested in listening. I will just keep track of the score. My allergies have been bad today. Last night they were too and I had to take an extra Allegra. I hate spring.