Category: depression

I slept in late. I got up after 1230. I had taken my meds early when I went pee after my med alarm went off. I just planned on studying today. I wrote a ton of notes in my notebook. I had two cups of coffee. I was feeling kind of sad because my three best friends are all going through some hard times. It’s hard to see.

After I did my notes, I felt almost ready and confident to take my exam. I am just going to go over the neurotransmitters one more time tomorrow and then I think I might as well take it. I then started doing research for my final paper. I think topic has to be in Thurs. I have seven sources. I plan on having at least ten. I found a good paper written by the suicidologist I know. The other sources are mostly medical journals so wouldn’t have the suicidologists I know. Feels good doing research again.

I’ve been sneezing since I got up. My sinuses are hurting. I got a migraine and the new medicine worked. I didn’t get a headache afterwards. It’s cold today. I had to shut off the ceiling fan. I got post nasal drip. I don’t feel sick so think this is just allergies.

Going to try and read my library book tonight. Will be fun.

Headache and pissy mood

I woke up in a pissy mood. I didn’t care to wake up, like ever. I didn’t want to leave my house today. I felt shitty, emotionally. I also had an allergy attack where I was sneezing and my eyes were tearing. It’s been like this all week. I’ve been taking Nyquil, mostly to help with sleep. I made one cup of coffee and then called a cab to go into Boston. I got to my appointment early. I went to Starbucks and had a mocha. I stayed for a little bit and then realized I had to walk to the office which was going to take some doing. So I left. I got out of breath a little bit and my legs hated me. I checked in and then went upstairs to see my DMH worker. We had a good visit.

I thought about going to the grocery store to get some ground beef to make Manwich but I didn’t feel like it. I took the train home. I planned on studying but I took a nap for about a half hour. I didn’t sleep, I just rested. Then I made some spicy ramen noodles for dinner. I got a headache from the spicy stuff. I took some Tylenol. My sinuses are still hurting.

I’m going to study for an hour or so tonight. I have until Tues to take the exam. I am so fucking nervous. I keep going over the slides and stuff but it’s not sticking in my brain. I got to somehow make it stick.

You’re a wreck

I had a bit of insomnia last night. It took forever for me to get to sleep last night. I had to pee several times and find 50 million positions to get comfortable. I was also wicked thirsty which didn’t help the pee situation. I overslept after I shut off my med alarm. I just couldn’t get up so I didn’t go to class. I went to Starbucks to study and wrote down some pathways. Then I got overwhelmed. All the pathways were similar but like one thing changed. I went back to neurotransmitters and hormones. I wanted to take the quiz but I didn’t. I didn’t know how many times I would have to take it to get 100. It just increased my anxiety. I came home and I had a slight headache. I tried taking a nap but I really couldn’t. I took the quiz and after like five or six attempts and driving myself crazy, I finally passed.

My neuro called the new migraine med in the pharmacy. I finally got a call from the pharmacy as to why they can’t fill it. My insurance said they already did. Ok. I had to call my insurance. I had to be on hold for a bit and they approved it. I called the pharmacy back and they filled it. Then I left Starbucks to pick it up. I then took the bus to the other pharmacy to get my Nyquil. I had to make a stop before going home. I had to pee and I just made it home. I have been sneezing all fricken day. I am going to use it tonight.

Tomorrow I am seeing my DMH worker. I am glad because I am kind of nervous with everything. I am especially worried about my sister as she works for the government. The terror begins. I am trying not to let it as I know it really doesn’t start until Jan 20^th. I hope I am in therapy by then.

Scared to see the ending

I went to bed before the end of the election so I had no idea who won when I got up today. I am not happy. I feel like the terror I felt back in 2016 is back and it’s only going to get worse because he has worse minions in his grasp.

I took a shower in the late afternoon. I ordered some cold medicine but because of the age limits, I couldn’t get it delivered. I have to pick it up. I will do that tomorrow after class. I have a sinus headache that I have had all day. My neuro hasn’t called in the new medicine yet. My pharmacy called this morning but didn’t leave a message so I don’t know what they wanted. I am annoyed. Now I got to message the doc and be like can you call in the med so I have it before the weekend in case I get a migraine??

The professor was kind enough to make a study slides of the pathways we need to know. I just saw one of the extra pyramidal system and I am like, WTF. Too much information for my brain right now. I will go over the neurotransmitters and hormones. I need to do some studying. I have a quiz to do by Fri.

I don’t know if I am getting a cold or not. I know my sinuses hurt but I have clear drainage. Just need to wait it out. I hate the wait out period. I had wicked vivid dreams last night, some of which gave me headaches. It’s been warm the past few days. Today temps reached 80. It’s ridiculous. I haven’t put my PJs on yet. It’s kind of warm in my room. I might have to turn on the AC. In November!

I went downstairs to see my sister after she came home from work. My other sister was there. She said I need a haircut because my hair is uneven. I said the front is thinning out and I am not getting it cut for at least a month. I didn’t tell her why. She is always criticizing me so fuck her. When I came down for coffee, I found that my breakfast blend was on the counter. My sister likes it. Nice but she doesn’t help pay for it. She also has been using my half and half.

I got a damn migraine. I checked the pharmacy to see if they have my new med and they do. They just can’t fill it for some reason so I asked why. I am waiting for a call back. Until then, I am taking what I have. And I won’t be studying tonight. Fuck.