I had an easy day today. I didn’t do anything. I just rested as I was still sore from PT yesterday. I also don’t know what I did but when I got into bed last night, I pulled a muscle in my thigh so that is sore. I ordered McDonalds for my niece and I for lunch. It was good. I then did some applying for school and financial aid. I had to go digging into my tax paperwork for the information I needed for the financial aid stuff. I made dinner for my mother. She just wanted a pasta dish.
I never got a chance to read my book today so I will read it tonight before bed. I have been trying to stay away from laying down since I got up this afternoon. Pain in my ribs is sort of helping as I need to sit up to alleviate the pain. I trimmed my beard today and mustache. It was getting a little unruly.
I am so tired today and I haven’t even done anything. My shoulders are tight and I just want to lie down all the time. My muscles still hurt from PT yesterday. I hope the soreness goes away. I wish I had a bathtub so I could rest with hot water on me but I don’t have one.
I had a busy day. I changed my sheets. Then I took a shower as I smelled. I washed my sheets. I think they are in the dryer. I am not sure. I brushed my teeth before I left the house for PT. I was tired after the shower. It took a lot out of me.
PT was exhausting. I did two machines for seven minutes each and then did some weights. I have to do calf stretches as my calves are tight. Nothing new. I’ve always had tight calves. The PT worked on my side muscles where my ribs are that were tight. It was so painful to work them out. It felt better afterwards. I was tired after I left but I still had a couple of errands to do before going home.
I went to the Square to pick up some food and my prescriptions. There was a shit ton of traffic when we got to the smaller square closer to my home. The lights took forever to change and no one moved when they did. It was so fucking annoying. The bus just stayed there for like three light changes. And this is one of the longer lights so it was a long wait. There was a line at the pharmacy. At one point there was just one tech at the register. I don’t know why one of the techs kept leaving the register. Made no sense.
I finally mailed my birth certificate amendment so that I can officially become male. I am so fucking happy about this. I hope the paperwork comes before my surgery so I can get everything changed by then. I am so excited my transition will be complete this year. Having top surgery will be so conforming to me. I just hope I am not in too much pain.
I am fucking exhausted. Tomorrow I don’t have to do jack shit. I think I will just read my book, maybe finishing it as there is only a few chapters left.
I got up after 12 today. I just didn’t want to get up. I took my T shot late but it doesn’t really matter what time I take it, as long as I do. I went downstairs to make some coffee and something to eat. My aunt was there. I missed my uncle who visited. My mother told him today and I guess today is letting family know that my mother has lung cancer. There really is no treatment options for her as chemo would just make things worse, possibly even shorten rather than prolong her life. I don’t know what my mother is going to do. She hasn’t made a decision yet. I think we should get palliative care for her. I will discuss it with my sisters. It might help her.
My sister let my uncle know today that my mother has cancer. It has been a difficult day. I let my cousins know today. It has been difficult. My mother has asked her siblings to come to the house on Saturday. My sister is planning on making fish. I just hope my mother is up to it. Today is one of her bad days so she is in bed.
I had therapy yesterday. I set a goal and promptly forgot it soon as session ended because I had to relieve my bladder so bad. The last fifteen minutes of session was so hard as I had to pee so bad. It just came on all of a sudden. I thought I was going to wet my bed. We talked some more about my mother’s diagnosis and how it is going to be losing her. I know she will never see me as her son and that hurts but it is what it is. I have almost accepted this. Almost. I don’t know if I will ever get used to it. She tries so I got to give her some credit.
I was able to brush my teeth today. I still haven’t changed my sheets. I think I will do it tomorrow morning before I leave for PT. Bed is cleared off. I just need to stick my laptop somewhere safe while changing the bedding. I feel so depressed today that I don’t want to do a damn thing. I need a shower because I smell and I don’t want to. I just want to crawl under the covers and stay there. Adulting sucks.