Category: depression

Saturday Blog 07112026

I woke up to my med alarm this morning and I wanted to throw my phone across the room. I didn’t want to get up but I had to take my meds. I stayed in bed a little longer and then I took them. Then I got up and had some coffee. I wasn’t hungry so didn’t eat anything. After my coffee I went back to my room after I brushed my teeth. My ankle flared up and it has been hurting me all day.

I tried napping but I had schoolwork to do. I read the next chapter I was to read for my gender class. It was about fatherhood. I wrote something about it and then moved on to the next one. I have three per week. I read a comment the professor made on one of my submissions and it was one where I was knocked down a point because I didn’t include a quote from the book. Fuck. None of my submissions had quotes. Oh well. Tomorrow I am doing history stuff. That should be easier. I still need to do the course evaluation. I might do that tomorrow.

I needed to shower and trim my beard. I ended up taking it off and trimming my mustache. I just left a stubble on my face as I didn’t feel like shaving. I had to trim my mustache as the hair was getting in my mouth. I then showered and while showering, my right foot started cramping. I don’t know what its problem is. I have been hydrating today. My ankle didn’t feel any better and it felt worse. I ended up taking pain meds for it. I got a headache. Too soon to know if it will be a migraine. There were t-storms yesterday. The rain finally stopped. I took some meds for the headache.

I had a chicken sandwich for lunch. I wanted an egg sandwich for dinner but my bread is gone. I have to buy more. I need to do a little grocery shopping. I spent $90 on soup and Powerade. I am stocked for soup now. I like it because it is filling.

I have been feeling tired all day. I haven’t been able to nap. I never usually nap unless I am really tired. I have been too antsy today because of the schoolwork that needed to be done. I slept pretty good as I only woke up once around 530. My nephew was playing his game. I don’t know how he can be up all night playing. Honey is home and she finally went to the vet. They gave her mommy some ear drops for her ear that gives her itching. It has been difficult to do as she doesn’t stay still. I understand. I hate to have ear drops in my ears.

Crappy few days

I have a bad UTI that is causing bleeding. I started antibiotics today so I hope by Mon I will be feeling better. I feel like crap right now. I slept all day yesterday because I had a rotten night the night before. I was dealing with pain most of the night. It kept me up till 2am or so.

It was raining today so I got a little damp when I went out. I am glad it wasn’t raining hard despite thunderstorms. It was loud. I felt like taking a nap when I came home but I had therapy so I couldn’t. I had no idea what I was going to talk about in therapy. Lately it has been hard to think about anything to talk about. Like today we were 20 mins in and I didn’t know what to talk about anymore. She filled in some stuff about what we talked about Tues and how she was going to send me a list of the things I can do to feel better. Then we talked about Honey for a little bit. I told her she was dressed as the Grinch right now. She is so cute. She went to the vet the other day and is 45 lbs. I can’t believe it.

I don’t know what else I talked about in therapy. I took a nap afterwards. I just wanted to stay in bed. I took my temp because I wanted to make sure I wasn’t running a fever. I wasn’t, thank god. I just feel awful. I couldn’t sleep too long as I had to do some schoolwork. I didn’t do any yesterday. Today’s reading is not a pleasant subject. I am still thinking about how to answer the questions.

My therapist said she was able to talk to my psychiatrist. It went well except for me. They think I need a lockbox for my meds. I don’t think I need one as I can manage my meds just fine. She also asked if she could get a release form for talking to my sister for emergencies only. I had no problem with this. It would only be if she wasn’t able to get in touch with me.

I feel so tired. I got good sleep last night. I didn’t wake up at all in the middle of the night. I hope I can sleep good tonight as well.

I forgot to pack a lunch

I got up early because I had to pee. I didn’t want to risk not getting up so I just stayed up. I had my coffee but didn’t eat anything. I wasn’t really hungry. I did think of making something for lunch but then it got late and I had to leave the house without anything. I was at the bus stop before I thought about this. I knew I was going to regret this.

Class went fine. I have a B in my history class. Evaluations are due. I just got the email today and if we screenshot the end, we get extra credit. I am surprised they sent them out so early. Usually it is a couple weeks before semester ends. I had my presentation in my networking class today. I was doing fine until I lost my train of thought near the end. I felt embarrassed. I found out that the interview that I did was not for the interview for class that we need. Fucking a. Now I got to find someone different.

I was starving by the end of class and all I thought about was the leftover eggplant parm in my fridge. I also thought about the Stouffer’s dinner I had in the freezer. I ended up having both. I was really hungry.

Honey gave me love when I came home but quickly retreated back to her room when I went up the stairs. I did something to my foot on the walk home, my CRPS foot. Today is CRPS awareness day. I posted on my FB page. I think I will do so here as well.

Today was a nice warm day, too warm for November. It was cold on Halloween. I think our heat kicked on. Crazy weather past few days. But I rather not have the heat on to save on the gas bill.