midnightdemons7

Saturday Blog 29032025

I don’t know what I am doing in my Italian class. I emailed the professor and he said I am confusing the tenses. I did the best I could. I did the discussion piece. I just got finished with it.

I barely slept last night. I don’t know why. I am so tired. It was raining off and on today and it has been really cold. My sister shut the heat off so it’s really cold in my room. I wanted to leave the house today but couldn’t get myself together enough to do it. Maybe Monday.

The felon is going after California to out transgender students. Only a matter of time before he comes to my state. I am so fucking scared. I want to die. The stress is killing me.

My feet keep cramping and I don’t know why. It hurts. My feet are cold so that doesn’t help. Ballgame is on soon. I plan on listening. Last night they lost. I ended up turning it off after the 5^th inning. They were already losing and I knew they weren’t going to win the game. Devers hasn’t gotten a hit yet. And I guess he will no longer be playing third base. He will be the DH. I hope I can listen to at least the 6^th inning tonight. Game is an hour earlier so I hope so.

Blah and depressed

I slept really late today. I didn’t feel like go to class today. I thought about going to the language lab but didn’t have the energy to get up. I have been in a funk all day. I got nothing accomplished. I did manage a shower.

It’s Opening Day. I listened to the game for a little while. They won. I should be happy but I am so depressed. I am so stressed out about school. My anxiety just is bad. I am going to text my therapist. The radical acceptance stuff isn’t helping me.

I’ve been playing my game on and off all day. It’s been helping me keep distracted but there are tasks I keep forgetting to do. Like stuff for the house goods needs stuff from the plastics. I create a thing and then forget to do the other thing. I just harvested some eggs and forgot what I need to make with it. I don’t care. I don’t have the concentration like I usually have today.

I showered but didn’t shave my head. I don’t know if I am going to or not. I kind of like how it is, all buzzed off. I need to have my cousin trim my neck hair in the back. I tried to do it and ended up scratching myself.

Resting day

I had therapy this morning. We discussed my grief about my mother and things. I had sent her a message saying how anxious I was about school. I don’t know what I am going to do if I can’t complete my degree. She didn’t offer any suggestions on it. Just to be mindful and present.

I had lunch and then I was feeling tired. I took a nap and it was for the rest of the afternoon/evening. I just woke up to take my night meds. I didn’t really sleep so great last night. I am debating on whether to finish my book or do the Italian. I was unsuccessful in finding a tutor. The professor said he would give me some extra help if I needed it. I am supposed to be starting the next book. The professor said it is an easy read. I am glad because the last few books have been difficult.

I am feeling really depressed. I keep thinking of my mother. I want to just see if she is ok. I just miss her so much. I bought a couple of books at the bookstore. I need to go pick them up tomorrow. I was going to go yesterday but I forgot. I feel sort of rested since I have napped all afternoon.