It’s six thirty in the morning and I just can’t seem to go back to sleep. I got a million things on my mind that I have to do. I just did one, cancel my group for this week. I don’t want to go back but I am too afraid to say that just yet. I will eventually.
I had a good Easter, stuffed my self silly with a delicious ham that my sister made. I just couldn’t help but eat it.
I am trying an experiment with my pain meds. I am going to try and see if I can get off them without causing withdrawals or a bad pain cycle to ensue. Day one has been ok, though my ankle at night was testing me. It was really hurting but I was so tired I ignored it and it seemed to have settled down some. It still hurts but not at the same level. I always have pain in my ankle and foot. It is so common that sometimes I don’t even notice it. I have gotten so used to it.
I have decided to put the book that I am writing on hold. I really don’t think it is going to become of anything. I don’t know anyone in the writing world to make it happen anyways. I don’t even know how to write a manuscript. Right now, the paper is more like a long essay than a book. It’s about twenty pages long, the shortest book ever written.
Every morning at 0821 and 0921 I get a call from “unknown”. I ignore it because I don’t know who it is. It is very annoying. One day last week they called me three times, every hour. I was going to answer and yell at them but I would feel stupid if it was an automatic voice recording calling my number. My yelling would go unheard. So for now, I just ignore the phone call. If it was something important, I am sure they would have left a voicemail message saying so (which they have not). I just hate it because the calls wake me up and I hate being up before nine.
I’m not sure what I am going to do today. I cancelled my group. I should call my LTD and set up a payment plan with them but I am not sure I am ready to haggle with them. It is partly their fault for not letting me know that I had to let them know I was collecting SSD.
Baseball season starts today. I can’t wait. I really hope this year turns out to be a good year for the Sox. I’ll be wearing the uniform to try and give them some luck. But for now I think I will try and take a nap before my therapy.
Therapy pissed me off. I just got very annoyed with her and event though I said so, she annoyed me more! I just can’t take her stupidity. I really can’t. I’m going back to bed. Maybe a nap will put me in a better mood to watch the Sox game.
midnightdemons7 