depressed and worried

Been a tough week. My aunt (father’s sister) passed away after a brief illness and it has been tough. Today was the funeral and I lost it at the cemetery. All my family are buried in the same on, right next to each other and it made me sad to see my aunts and uncles who passed away. I miss them so much.

The reception was good. My sisters and I basically sat by ourselves until a family member or two popped over to say hello and to ask about my father. It was like a repeat of last night but in a different atmosphere. I still feel really sad. I know my father is not doing well. I know that he is sick. But I don’t know how sick yet and that is what is making me sad. I have just my father and his remaining sister left. She is not doing well either. I am just a wreck of worry because things always happen in threes and whose to say that the universe won’t take my father and sister soon? It makes me very depressed and worried.

My ankle is hurting me, though not more than I was expecting which is good. I guess wearing the AFO helped me more than I realized. I still am sore but not as sore. I am so glad my AFO fits into my LL Bean boots that I bought last year. Now I don’t have to worry about slipping and sliding with them on. I have been in terrible pain without the AFO use. Funny how a little plastic changes everything.

I talked with my family today about my upcoming book, which is not an easy thing to do as no one really knows I have been suicidal or let alone made an attempt. I just kept on saying it was based on life experiences and left it at that. Someone asked if my sisters were in the book and I told them no. I might have mentioned them but for the most part I kept them out of the story line.