I didn’t do anything today, which was the plan. I just wanted a day of doing nothing but relaxing. I should have shut my phone off but I didn’t. My father called asking when I will be over his house. I told him I wasn’t feeling good and that I wasn’t. He got into a tizzy. Oh well. I don’t care. I dealt with him nearly every day this week. I need to get away from him.
I did read some and slept some. I really didn’t even play my game that much. I just planted some crops and that was it. I didn’t request items and such like I usually do. I just am not into playing the game today. I feel burned out by it.
I just had my manwich and fries that my mother made. It was the only thing that I really had all day, other than the cereal I had for breakfast. I really haven’t been all that hungry the last few days. Another sign that I am depressed. I am not that worried because it’s not like I am underweight. I woke up with heartburn so I think that is why I really didn’t want to eat today. My mother went shopping and bought my favorite kind of donuts. I am trying to be good but I don’t think those donuts are going to last too long.
I wanted to make coffee today but didn’t. I just decided to sleep. Even now I am kind of tired but I think that is because of the pain meds that I had to take. My ankle flared up sometime after getting my mother’s groceries and making I don’t know how many trips up and down the stairs. She didn’t have that much stuff. She bought vegetables and meats. I don’t really like buying that stuff online because you never know what you are going to get. The last time I bought some raspberries, they weren’t too good. I decided not to buy them after that experience.
I finally took a shower this morning when I got up. I felt a little better afterwards. My ankle didn’t like it much but oh well. It’s not like I had anything to do today anyways so I can take my pain meds liberally. I feel so tired lately, like I am being weighed down. I know that is another sign of the depression. I was writing in my journal last night that I think I am in denial that I am depressed. I don’t know why I am in denial. Maybe I feel like if I don’t acknowledge it, it will go away.
I have to go to the pharmacy tomorrow to pick up my prescription for my migraine pills. That is the only place I am going to go. I am not going to my father’s. My sister is going so she can take care of his needs. I really don’t want to tax my ankle anymore. Being in pain is not fun. And I hate having to take my pain medication all the time. Yesterday I took four pills. Today I have already taken three. I think I am going to have to take some more by the end of the night. I hate having to take them because I hate being constipated. If I don’t take senna every day, I am screwed.
midnightdemons7 