Anxious Tuesday

Anxious Tuesday

I got up a little after 8 this morning. I had to get up because I had an early appointment with PT. I made coffee and had my biscuits with it. I only had one package. My mother wasn’t up yet so I had the kitchen to myself. I thought about having a second cup of coffee when my mother got up. I decided not to have the 2nd cup. I went off to my bedroom to look at bus schedules. There would be a bus coming around 10 past 10 so I decided to catch that one. I was reading Twitter and then some article to pass the time. I got my bag ready as after my appointment I was going to go to Starbucks.

PT was good. She had me work at different machines. Then she showed me some stretches for my upper back and then stretch my lower back. I felt good and she said that I was doing good. Just a few more sessions and I would be done. I told her I would like to be done before my hysterectomy and she agreed I would be.

I had missed the bus so I had to wait a half hour for the next one to the Square. I didn’t have enough Starbucks funds to order a latte and a sandwich so I just ordered a latte with five shots espresso. I got to the Starbucks and it was quiet and weird. No one was wearing a mask and I began to feel a little panicked. I found a table to sit down and wrote in my journal. The last entry in my journal was 12 Mar 20. I made a space for today’s entry and wrote for a bit before moving on toward the suicide thoughts workbook. I thumbed through it and then started getting anxious. I felt really uncomfortable and wanted to go home. I decided to go to the grocery store and then go home. I did and when I went to the bus stop at the station, I found that the street was closed. I had to walk 1.1 miles to the next bus stop. I was wicked tired and it took some of the anxiety away walking. I was more afraid of missing the bus. I didn’t though and made it home in time for my bladder to almost explode. I just made it to the toilet in time. I was sweating a lot as it was really warm today.

I made a burger once I cooled off. I had it with a slice of Swiss cheese I bought at the store. I’m still kind of hungry so I might make a turkey sandwich or a bowl of cereal later. My back is really hurting from all the walking I did. It started to really flare up while making the burger. My ankle is also flared up so I took a BT med. I read the pre and post op instructions. I should be able to have a BM by the 2nd day after surgery and if I don’t, I need to take something. I plan on taking Miralax soon as I get home from the hospital because I know what it is like with the anesthesia. It can take me a while to go. In the instructions it said that if I don’t go by the 4th day after surgery to call the office. I will make sure this doesn’t happen.

any thoughts?

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