painful fall

Painful fall

Yesterday morning I went to the dentist. It was not a good visit. I have eight cavities, including one on my baby tooth that they can’t do anything about because it will cause it to become unstable. After the visit, I was rushing to catch the bus and just as I was about to the bus stop, I tripped over the sidewalk and fell. The pain in my shoulder was unreal. I thought I was going to pass out. I could barely move I was in so much pain. Eventually I sat up and the bus was still there waiting for me. I pulled myself together and got on the bus. That was so nice of the bus driver to wait for me. He saw me fall. My knees hurt really bad but I could walk on them. I just had to go slow.

I went to the hospital to give a urine sample. I was in and out pretty quickly. I just wanted to go home and take my pain meds. I was hurting so damn much. I had just missed the bus when I got to the square. I had to wait twenty minutes for the next bus. I thought about going to Starbucks for a mocha but I hurt too much to walk over and back. I just sat down and listened to my music. I just put the songs on shuffle. I didn’t care who I listened to. I wasn’t in the mood for a particular artist.

Last night I had a very hard time sleeping. Pain in my shoulder was really bad. It kept me awake most of the night. I am so fricken tired. I finally gave up around noon. I had two cups of coffee. The results of the urine test came in. I don’t have an infection. I guess my bladder is hurting just to hurt. I haven’t had a bowel movement yet. I have been taking Miralax but nothing is moving yet. I should take another dose but I don’t feel like getting up right now.

I am in a bad mood. I hurt all over. All for a test that turned out to be negative. I tried to see if my therapist had an opening today but she is booked. I had sent her a message about what coping skills to use when I am feeling overwhelmed and she said the distress tolerance skills. Well gee, could you be a little more specific? There are like eight of them. I am so fed up. I was looking for something specific and she couldn’t tell me. The hell with it. I will just go with the damn flow. I am hurting too much right now to care.

I need to shower but I can’t really move that well right now. I can’t really lift my left arm up to wash my hair as it hurts so damn much. I sent a message to my pcp saying that I fell and maybe an xray is needed to see if I did something to my shoulder. If I didn’t I asked for PT again. I know I most likely pulled a muscle or muscles. I just know I hurt and it is going to take a few days to recover. And it is going to suck till then…

any thoughts?

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