It’s Dec 1st and I cannot believe the year is almost over. No end in sight with the pandemic because of covidiots. And yesterday there was a school shooting somewhere and I just had to stay off Twitter. When I finally scrolled past the news and just looked at pics, I found the pet pics I needed to see. There was a cute all black kitten in one of the pics. So damn cute. It made me smile while the world is falling apart.
My shoulder is hurting this morning. I tried the new exercises I was given and it caused me pain. It didn’t hurt last night so I don’t know what I did wrong or maybe the height of the table was too high. I sent a message to my PT about it. I also checked my calendar on the web thing and my calendar and found there were at least 5 appointments I was missing. OOPS. I also don’t have a follow up with my psychiatrist so I sent him a message.
My burn is healing. I have it covered with antibiotic ointment. I have to keep it covered because I hate looking at it. It looks so sore but it isn’t. I am waiting for my pcp to get in touch with me about the UTI symptoms I am having and what to do about it. I have a feeling he is going to refer me back to uro and my uro is going to think I am crazy.
I wish I could access my calendar on my laptop but even though I am connected for text messages, I calendar option isn’t there. I have been thinking about switching to outlook for my calendar needs but that always requires going into the email app to access. I sent a message as feedback that this should be an option.
My pcp responded to my message and referred me back to uro. I placed a call and they never called me back. I haven’t taken the urinary pain medication today. I still have frequent urination and pain but it is less than it was over the weekend. Cathing is still a goddamn nightmare. I won’t have the urge until I am half way through emptying my bladder and then will get a strong urge that shoots urine all over the place. I feel like I am going crazy. I want to take Miralax because I haven’t moved my bowels all fucking week but I don’t want to drink stuff because then I will have to pee. I feel like I need to restrict my intake of fluids right now so I am not peeing all the damn time. I don’t know how much of this is nerve related or something else. I just know it is frustrating as hell.
I am feeling somewhat suicidal. Nothing imminent just passing thoughts of what if I do this or that. I have thought about texting my therapist but I already texted her once today. I haven’t brushed my teeth today or shaved my head. I really don’t feel like doing either. I will try and brush my teeth before bed or my last pee of the night. I only have myself to blame for getting cavities. I reluctantly took some Miralax so will have to pee soon again. I hate being constipated this much because I will just end up straining to get stool out and that isn’t good either.
I am ordering groceries and the two things I need are out of stock. I might have to go to the store and get them.