Pic of white bulldog puppy. I thought it was cute to put in my blog today. I have a sore arm from therapy. I am not feeling good but might shower.
I am nervous about my appt with therapist tomorrow. I need to get a new scale because the one I have doesn’t seem to give me the right weight. It said I was 176 Sun and now a few days later I am 195 when I haven’t eaten anything significant! I don’t know what is true. I had some toast today with the last of the Kerrygold butter. That has been all I’ve eaten in two days. I know in therapy we are going to discuss it and I don’t want to.
My new CBT suicide book just got delivered. I wonder why I am still researching method on suicide prevention when they fall on deaf ears in therapy. She doesn’t have the time to look into this stuff. She doesn’t know what I know. And I don’t know what she knows. We are trying to come to an understanding. So tough when you are hurting so badly you just want to die.
New scale came. Guess all this starving myself hasn’t yielded any weight loss. Fuck. I am upset.