still tired from being hot

Still tired from being hot

I was up most of the night again. I went to pee and had a hard time falling back to sleep. I started writing in my journal until I got tired enough to try and sleep. Then I woke up from bad dreams. I finally gave up sleeping around 630. It was cold in my room from the AC so I shut it off as I was cold. The temps warmed up in a few hours and my room was hot again. The kitchen, when I went down to have my coffee, was unbearable. I was sweating a lot. I had to go back up to my room.

I booked a cab for tomorrow’s appointment. I am to have an injection in my bicep to help with the swelling/tears. I am hoping afterwards I will be able to get back to lifting weights. I haven’t done so because my arm has been hurting too much. I bought the KN95 masks so I will be protected against the new variant that is out. I hope to go to Starbucks afterwards for a mocha. Depending on how I will feel, I might take the T home.

I have therapy today. I am not looking forward to it because I am tired. It’s hard for me to think right now. I hope I can sneak in a nap before session. I have a few hours. I won’t be going to the chronic pain group today. I just can’t stand them anymore. I don’t find it helpful. It is a hit or miss on whether or not I can relate to what the group is talking about and I don’t like it because half the time, they don’t talk about pain.

I went to the chronic pain group and then I left. I couldn’t be around people after therapy. We talked about the texts I sent her surrounding suicide prevention. It was a good chat. Then came the talk about my consult appointment happening while she is on vacation. We came up with some strategies so I don’t get overwhelmed and go into a downward spiral if I hear something I don’t like. It is going to be really hard. If I have to lose the weight, I shouldn’t feel screwed because the weight doc said he would do some metabolic testing to see where I was. He also would do a body composition thing. That sounds really fun. I get to see just how fat I really am. I also am to see the dietitian. I am trying to lose weight before the appointment by drinking shakes and eating just cereal. I find eating the wheat chex filling so I am not hungry throughout the day. I am also drinking more water than Gatorade. My therapist is trying to have me give it up but it is the one thing that brings me joy so it isn’t going to happen. I see her again on Thurs as an extra session as she is going on vacation.

I finally took a nap around 1600 and slept till around 1930. One of my books has arrived but I am too lazy to go downstairs and bring it up. I’ve never been excited for a book before. HAHA. I am a bibliophile! Oh my therapist talked to me about the trauma treatment EMDR. She is trained but isn’t certified in it, yet. Her only concern is because I dissociate I can get “stuck”. She wants me to read more about it and then let her know. So that is what I will do, after I finish the BATA book. I didn’t finish reading any book for the month of June so I am behind in my book reading challenge. I should have it finished this week, if I really work at it.