psych appt and other things

Psych appointment and other things

I had an appointment today with my psychiatrist. He was pretty worried about me. I told him how things were and how anxious I was about the intrusive memories I have been getting. I asked for Ativan and he gave it to me. Because they are still being cautious with me, I only got a two week supply of my meds, which sucks. I just hope they don’t do this in the new year because the Latuda will cost me $60/month otherwise and I won’t be able to afford that.

I realized when I picked up my meds that I need to renew my driver’s license. It expires on my birthday, which is this month. I just tried to update it and the stupid thing crashed on me. I think I have to go in person. Fucking a. all because of the stupid REAL ID bullshit. I had to submit my birth certificate which still has my sex as female and dead name. I couldn’t use my passport because it is expired.

I need to go back to the pharmacy tonight to get my Covid booster and pick up the other meds that I couldn’t pick up at the other pharmacy. My back has been in spasms all day today for whatever reason so I had to take methocarbamol, a muscle relaxant. It has helped.

I took a shower today and that didn’t help my back troubles. Even while I was in the hospital and took a shower, my back cramped up on me. My feet also cramped today. I have been getting a lot of foot cramps lately and I don’t know why as I have been taking magnesium supplements since coming home from the hospital.

It’s almost 6pm and I am starting to lose gas. I am feeling really sleepy and tired. Every single night at this time I feel like taking a nap. In the hospital, I just fell asleep and then woke up to take my night meds. Sometimes I would be up for a little bit and other times I just went back to sleep only to wake up in the middle of the night. Then I would be up for the whole day. Pattern hasn’t changed, though while I have been home, I have avoided going to bed at this time. I still wake up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. Sometimes I can go back to sleep but most of the time I am up for the remainder of the day, which sucks.

I am so glad tomorrow I don’t have to do anything but see the visiting nurse. I don’t know how long I will see her. I will ask tomorrow. I don’t feel I need to see her anymore. I am doing ok on my own and it isn’t like she is offering me a huge support anyways. I plan on just reading the Linehan memoir and finish it before the weekend. I started reading Dune while in the hospital. I finished the first book. I didn’t feel like starting the second book. I didn’t realize it was broken down by books. It is a big book to read but it is very interesting with its subplots.

any thoughts?

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