Weird but fucking beautiful
I had a hard time sleeping last night so I read my new book. I just read the introduction. I will read more of it tonight. Even after I read the intro, I couldn’t go back to sleep. My mind kept thinking about my mother and if I should go downstairs to check on her. I woke up around 10 to pee and then went back to sleep for a couple of hours. I think I got up around 1 to have coffee. I made chicken and mashed potatoes for dinner. My mother didn’t eat too much. We saved what she didn’t eat. She said she would have it “later”.
I got an email from UMB financial aid office. I had to submit a disability form and I need a doctor’s note. What it is to say I have no idea as they didn’t give too much information on the website so I sent another email back to the office. It is becoming more real that I will be going back to college in the fall. I just hope that I will be able to afford it. That is my biggest worry.
Nineteen days till my top surgery. I am wicked excited. Tomorrow I see the surgeon. I just hope to god I can wake up early as it is a morning appointment. I am hoping nerves will wake me up and not keep me awake. I set my alarm so I am hoping to get up. I hate morning appointments. I wish I had a cab voucher but I don’t. They expired the end of Feb. I am supposed to get new ones but haven’t yet. I hope the program hasn’t been canceled.
I am feeling tired. Also feeling a little dysphoric as I can feel the weight on my chest from the things on it. I cannot wait till they come off. I don’t now if I am going to get nipples or not. I want small ones. I am going to tell the surgeon this. I just hope they are what I want. I also got to ask how long I will be wearing the compression vest or binder. I am not sure what I will be wearing. I am so nervous.
I got it!! My amended birth certificate arrived today!! I am so fucking excited!!
midnightdemons7 