Author: Midnight Demon

Wicked tired today so here is a pic

I made a few phone calls today. Mostly just took care of my mother most of the day. Today was a better day.

I’ve been feeling tired most of the day despite two cups of coffee. I tried to watch the game but they weren’t calling the game I wanted so I shut the damn TV off. I got aggravated. The game wasn’t on the radio for some reason. We won so that is all that counts.

I’ve been feeling blah all day. I called my insurance company as they have a case manager thing and they will be looking for support groups for me. I have a meeting in about a half hour for FTM. I will check it out. It meets once a month over zoom. It will be my first meeting. I am kind of nervous.

I plan on taking a shower before bed but it depends when the group lets out. I might have to take it tomorrow. My leg is still sore from yesterday. My knee has been hurting all day. Every time I stood up, it hurt. Hope I am not getting arthritis.

I had to leave the group after an hour as I got triggered and got wicked anxious. They were talking about gender roles and I just couldn’t deal. I guess the dysphoria got the best of me. I just felt like even though I belonged there, I didn’t belong. Hopefully when I talk to my therapist Mon about it, I can sort it out. I just feel bad as the rest of the country is going ape shit over trans issues. Kentucky is the latest state to file a ban on trans youth. WTF. I am glad I live in Massachusetts.

Bulldog mom and pup

My mother had a bad afternoon. I had therapy. It went OK. I told her I was worried about my mother. I met with my pdoc and told him my mother’s prognosis. I told him I was tired. He increased my antidepressant. I see him in a few weeks.

I’ve been in pain most of the day with my stupid knee. No idea why it hurts. Ankle just started flaring up. My chest hurts. The muscles are killing me. I am glad I have PT tomorrow. So sick of being in pain. My pcp won’t see me until April. Fucking a.

I hope my aunts don’t come over tomorrow. The hospice nurse is coming and I really don’t want my aunt talking to her. Plus my niece and I can use a break from company.

My therapist’s dog made an appearance during session. He is so cute. At one point he just put himself in front of the camera. He was so funny. I had to laugh. He is a small white dog. A yapper though he has been good for a while now. I like when he joins. Makes me smile.