Author: Midnight Demon

Having a rough day so will write tomorrow

Saturday Blog 09042022

I had a hard time sleeping last night. I woke up around midnight to pee and then it was all over. I couldn’t go back to sleep. Around 6, I was dozing here and there but every time I laid down, I would stay for a few minutes and then something would cause me to get up again. I had turned my phone off so I could sleep. I didn’t get to sleep until I took some Benadryl and slept for a solid four hours. Thank god I had my phone off as my mother called me. I would have been so pissed if she woke me up.

I have to measure my urine so been doing so. My first cath was around 300. Then just now I measured and it was 600. I had a lot of water today. My only caffeine was coffee at like 6 when I was hoping it would sedate me. It didn’t. Figures. Someone has been in my Girl Scout cookies. I am missing a box and when I went to the kitchen, I found an unopened sleeve of cookies. I hid them and ate the ones I got with my coffee. For some reason I had the worse heartburn. I don’t know why acid kept coming up with the coffee. It was so bad it came through my nose. Man did that burn. I wasn’t sure if I took my Prevacid so I took another one and that settled things down finally. I looked on my bed to see if the pill had escaped but I didn’t see it. I probably will find it when I am not looking for it.

A friend of mine who is a pediatric resident interpreted the Holter monitor report for me. She said that it was a good thing. I was grateful for what she told me because I was worried I would have to see a cardiologist next and be on more medication. I seem to be fine with the labetalol so I think I don’t have to be on another medication.

My lower leg is still hurting me. I had maxed out on my pain meds so needed to wait before I could take more. I got to refill my pain meds next week. I am going to see if my doc can do both at the same time. I hate waiting a week in between but really the IR med can be refilled as it isn’t a true 30 day supply medication. It is written as less than that so technically, I can get it refilled after the 10 days or so that it is written for. I hope so anyways. Saves me a trip to the pharmacy. Tomorrow I refill my med boxes. I am going to see if I have a smaller bottle for the new uro meds so I can keep it by my bedside as I need to take an evening dose before bedtime. I also got to plan my meals so that I can take the second pill with a large meal. I plan on just having a pot pie or a frozen dinner. Tonight I had a yogurt with some toast for supper. It was all that I wanted. My mother had called to tell me my sister made some chicken but I wasn’t in the mood for it.

My eyes keep tearing up. I don’t know why. My allergies aren’t too bad because I took the Benadryl. I had cleared off my bed last week to change my sheets. All that needed to be done was to clear my office but I haven’t had the energy to do it. I have just been so tired because the insomnia has really interfered with sleeping. I am sleeping during the day to try and get some decent sleep rather than be up for 20 hours. I had a solid four hour sleep but I need some more as I am still tired. I just checked the Sox score. They are tied at 2 in the 5^th. It is the second game of the season but they are playing the Skankees and I want them to beat their ass.

I keep thinking today is Sunday. Hate when my sleep is so disturbed. Monday I really need to go to the post office as I didn’t go today to drop off the package for my friend. I had tried to get a pick up but I am so close to the nearest post office that it didn’t allow it. I might go to the one in the Square so I can get Starbucks as a reward for doing the errand. People are starting to sit in there so maybe I can bring a book with me and spend some hours reading the BCBT book so I can finish it. I am almost done with it. I think I have like six chapters left. I think the next book I am going to read is “On Juneteenth”. What kind of bothers me about this day is that slaves in Texas were freed due to the Emancipation Proclamation but the Army came AFTER the 13^th Amendment was approved, which abolished slavery. That is why I don’t understand what they are celebrating exactly. Maybe the book can explain it for me and I won’t be confused.

Uro appointment and other things

I had urodynamic testing done. I was at the hospital for at least two hours. Nothing has changed really. I still have a dysfunctional bladder. The uro is new so he took me off all my uro meds and put me on the ones I used to take. I am only on two now. I see him virtually in two months to see how it is going. I am to measure my urine to get some data as to how much I am outputting.  That is going to be fun. For the first time ever, I was able to void after the test with no residual urine in my bladder. One of the uro meds I need to take three times a day on an empty stomach. The other I need to take with a full meal, which is usually my dinner. I am too tired today to make the med changes. I might wait till Sunday when I fill my med boxes for the week.

I got my holter monitor results today. I went into sinus tachycardia and sinus arrythmia. I don’t know what this means. My pcp won’t be back until Mon so I hope she calls me to let me know.

I am wicked tired. Legs are killing me. Ankle and shoulder are painful. I did a lot of walking today. I took an Uber into Boston as I didn’t want to deal with the T the first leg of the day. I had canceled donating blood because I knew I would be tired from the appointment and I was right. On the way home my sister sent me a text message and now she is gaslighting me asking why I am always giving her shit and she is “never in my way”. She doesn’t believe I am disabled because some therapist told her I could do things. I have no idea who she spoke to. The only therapist she ever spoke to was when I was in the hospital and we had a conference call. HOSPITAL because I was depressed and suicidal. I don’t think she told her I could do “everything”. As it is, I can barely take care of myself. Just making dinner for myself and my mother killed me. I am so exhausted it isn’t funny. Course this is the same sister that refuses to use the correct pronouns for me.

Red Sox Opening day was today. Unfortunately, they lost to the Skankees in the Bronx. I listened from the 7^th inning on, as soon as I came home from my appointment. I love that baseball season is back. Just hope I will be able to listen to the night games without falling asleep. That is going to be so hard because I have gotten used to being in bed before 10p. I had Starbucks after my appointment today. Four shots of espresso. I think that is one reason why I haven’t crashed yet. I just took my night meds so I probably will be asleep soon. I might do some reading as I haven’t done it in a while. Been too depressed.