Category: depression

Saturday blog 14052022

Workers came this morning and I was told that I had to be on one level so that I wouldn’t disturb them. So when my med alarm went off at 0730, I took my meds and then grabbed some stuff to head downstairs to the kitchen. It got hot in the kitchen by noon time. The workers were done so I went upstairs to my hot room. AC is not working right so I am not happy. I just bought this AC last year. I hope the winter didn’t damage it.

I wrote a sex story today. I don’t know what possessed me but I wrote out my fantasies. I really didn’t like what I wrote. But it was kind of fun writing it. I won’t publish it on my blog because I know some of my readers have trauma histories.

My ankle just exploded in pain and I am having a hard time concentrating. I’ve been in a brain fog for most of the day. I had some iced coffee at dinner thinking it would keep me awake but it seems to have had the opposite effect. I am trying to stay awake for the game but I don’t think that is going to be possible. Fucking a. I am so mad. And depressed. Think I am going to take a nap.

I’ve been up since 445. I woke up from a weird dream then decided to empty my bladder as it had been more than 4 hours. It woke me up and I couldn’t go back to sleep even though I took ativan.

I had something to eat around 6 and then made coffee. I set my cath alarm as I haven’t had urges. When it went off at 845, I emptied and then brushed my teeth. Workers came to fix the walls and paint the hallway so going back to sleep wasn’t an option. It was nice out so I decided to go to Starbucks. I finally read some of building a therapeutic alliance. I thought of writing the highlighted stuff but I wasn’t in the mood to write. I read until I couldn’t pay attention to what I was reading and then went home.

The workers were gone when I came home. House is quiet so I might be able to sneak in a nap. Yesterday, I had an appt with my pcp. It went ok. She wants to try increasing the gabapentin before increasing my pain meds. So far nothing has really changed, though I didn’t expect there to be. I got my days messed up for the study blood draw. It was yesterday not today. I took a cab to the hospital as I didn’t want to deal with public transportation. I did a UA and culture to make sure I didn’t have an infection as I have symptoms. UA was positive for some white cells so the head nurse contacted me. The doc was going to wait for the culture to come back before treating. Today I get the bitchy nurse who tells me they aren’t treating me with antibiotics so I should contact urology. I replied and said did I ask for antibiotics? No. Have a good day. The bitch responded bit I haven’t read it and don’t plan to. She has the attitude of I’m the nurse and you should listen to what I say. I don’t tolerate that attitude from anyone.

Sox are playing tonight against the Rangers in Texas. I scheduled a Zoom meeting with my cousins for tonight before the game starts. I love that I can listen to the game via the radio app.