Fears about my book

Fears about my book

I thought I would write about the fears I have about my soon to be published book. The editor finally got back to me and I am next in line. I am hoping this means a few days. I am so nervous it’s not funny. I know the book is good and just needs some tweaking.

The fears I have for my book is the reaction my family will have when they read it. I didn’t go postal in the book about them but it is more like “how can you write that” type of thing or “why didn’t you tell me”. I am very fearful that word is going to get back to my mother about my transgender issues and that is not making me feel any better about myself. I don’t know what I will do if she does my ultimate fear and kick me out of the house. I am hoping the financial security I bring in is enough to stop her from doing this. But you never know.

Another fear I have is that my book won’t be well received and I will get hate reviews or people will think I am a freak. This in turn might cause me to wish I was dead and make me again think suicide is my only way out. Dealing with my identity has been a struggle all my life. Any type of rejection and I am bound to think about suicide.

Another fear I have is that the book won’t sell at all, just a handful of copies. I know that is unlikely as I am estimating at least fifty in the first month of its release. I know people in my support groups are going to buy my book so that is some consolation. Then I have the opposite fear, that the book will do really well and I am taken off disability because I made too much money. Again, my estimates are no where near the max and I am going to go slow in releasing the book. But I don’t know if Amazon does its own advertising or promotion. It would be great if my eBook is like 0.99 cents. But overall, I really have no idea how my book is going to be priced. I am estimating it to be $15 USD. It could be more or less than that. I just don’t know. It will be the final stages I am guess I find out, when I am close to hitting the publish button.

Another fear I have is about formatting. I did a dry run and found that I had several errors. Fun to find that out now. But I don’t know how to tweak it when my editor is done or if she will help me with this stuff. I haven’t asked her yet. If she says no, I am left on my own. I figured out how to get it to be “clean” text to place in the format template. But I don’t know how the real thing is going to look like. I think you can get a sample copy, which I am definitely going to do before mass production of the book. I think that will be good so I can make changes. I think this process will slow down my publishing date of the first week in April but who knows, the editor and I could still be working on it for that length of time.

Well I guess that are all the fears that I have.