Weird comment

Weird comment

It has been almost a week since I received a weird comment on my blog. Instead of being supportive in a good way, this fellow blogger was supporting my decision to commit suicide and said that no one has the right to stop me. While it was unusual to get such a comment, I couldn’t help but agree as I was also feeling a little pissed off. It set off different emotions. I accepted the comment (all my comments are moderated), then I trashed it. I realized that I don’t want that kind of negativity on my blog, even though it was on target to how I felt on my dark side.

I was able to watch the game today on the TV because my mother was out today. I watched it until I could no longer bear the heat. I was disappointed to find that the regular announcers were not announcing. I found out through twitter that both announcers took vacation at the same time. It was so weird listening to the game with different announcers, and they sucked. The analysis was just awful. It also grated on my nerves so when I got intolerably hot, I went back to my AC’d room and listened the game on the radio. We won 11-0. The first time the Sox have scored that many runs all season. I hope that after the break they continue to do well. Otherwise, it is just going to be heartbreaking.

Tonight, my sister had her friends over and they were discussing work. I would have stayed but my leg started acting up and I had to put it up. It left me feeling guilty and bad. I still am unable to join in the fun so to speak. And though I have been out of work for two years now, I don’t think that I can go back to the workforce. It just would kill me. I still want to work at Starbucks, not to enjoy the perks of being an employee, but to smell coffee all day! I want to learn how to make a latte and a macchiato. I know it will be stressful and I will get the many upset customers who will say their drink is not perfect. Just thinking about this, I am wondering why I would put myself in that position. But making coffees and lattes has been on my mind for the last several years. I just don’t know if I will be able to stand the for the length of my shift without it killing me. And if I have to quit because my leg is hurting too much, I know it will just kill me. But I figure if I just work a few hours a day with a day off in between, I should be ok.

I finally got out of the house and went to the pharmacy to get my meds. Tomorrow I plan on calling a few places for quotes to junk my car. If I get at least $300 I will be happy. If I can get more, I really will be happy!

I wrote my therapist a few letters over this weekend. I think I will write one more before sending out my letter in the mail. I want to tell her about talking with a friend today really boosted my spirits. He was telling me that he highly respects me because of the book that I wrote. He couldn’t believe all that I went through and that I am still here. He is a really nice guy. I had to apologize to him when he told me he cried when he read my book. He is the second person I know that cried when they read my book. I think it is more because they know me than the content. But I don’t know. My writing is pretty powerful when it needs to be. I don’t know if anyone else has cried when they read my book.

I am following a PsyD (doctor of psychology) on twitter. He has more than 90K tweets. He tweets morning, noon, and night. Some of his tweets I like, some I don’t and when he gets on topic of something, usually gay related…holy fuck he doesn’t shut up about it. He will go on and on and on. Drives me crazy. He is the only psych that I follow that does this. The rest of the psychs that I follow just post stuff about their work or quotes themselves. He is the only one that is “real”. I really find his tweets informative, even if they annoy me.