Tomorrow I have a mess of phone calls to make and I need to get to the physical therapy (PT) appointment in the morning. I am really nervous about getting there and also just in general. I hope the guy is a good guy and not a shmuck. I have never been to this health center before so it will really be a test of my navigation to find the place. I will be going by public transportation and according to the T’s website, it is a block from the bus stop. I just hope it isn’t more than that as I might not be able to make it. I was talking to a friend that used to live in the area and she said there is a hill to go up. I don’t do well on walking uphill. I guess I will find out how steep it is when I get there tomorrow. Got to love Boston and its surrounding areas for being hilly.
Pain wise, I am hurting. I have decided that I won’t take any pain medication unless it become unbearable. I have no choice as my pain pill supply is on its last leg. I cannot refill my script until Tuesday and I have just four pills left. So as much as I really would love to take a pain pill right now, I can’t. This sucks so bad. If my doc would listen to me and actually give me the amount of pills I am taking a day, there wouldn’t be a problem. But he doesn’t so I get screwed.
My mood has been stable despite being in chronic pain the last few days. I haven’t been despondent and in despair. I have been trying to keep myself busy with my game and working on tweeting quotes from the book, “Managing Suicidal Risk” by David Jobes. I was tweeting last night before the OSU game. What a fucking game it was last night. A nail biter till the end. I couldn’t stand the crowd last night as the noise they were making was unreal. Even though the home team was down, they still were cheering as if they were winning. Got to give them credit for that as the team came back only to lose in overtime. It was the first football game I watched all season. In between commercials I switched to the ball game. I don’t know how many times the Giants had the bases loaded and they cashed in. I didn’t see the last few innings. Last I saw they had broken the tie and were winning 7-4. The final score was 11-4 so they obviously score more runs while I was watching the overtime football game. I don’t understand how the overtime game was played as they didn’t have a time clock for the plays and then the team lost on 4th down. They couldn’t punt or score a field goal as they needed a touchdown to win. After the loss of downs, the game was over. I never seen anything like it before. Maybe that is just the way college overtime is played.
I chatted tonight in BPDChat (borderline Personality Disorder) on Twitter. It is amazing to me how many chats I have participated in with Twitter. I really like it because I get to meet interesting people with the same thoughts and understanding for the different topics that I chat in. I like the SPSM chats because they deal with suicide prevention and from there I have met some interesting clinicians that I follow and they follow me. I also get to promote my book the best I can through Twitter via hashtags. I really love Twitter and all that it has done for me. It helps me know there are real people in the world that I can converse with and not be hidden by. I am alone most of the time in my room because of my immobility. I don’t have social meetings with friends anymore and the friends that I did have, I have lost. Most of it is because I don’t have a car anymore so meeting up with them has been difficult. I also don’t socialize with my family on some days because my pain is too great to go down the stairs. So social media (FB and Twitter) has been a great support for me.
midnightdemons7 