Tired of Pain

I got good news today, well yesterday. My psychiatrist is back in the office! I haven’t seen her in like four months because she broke her hip. I finally asked her point blank when will I see her again and she sent me an appointment time. I am so excited, but nervous, about seeing her again. I feel a little bit better knowing that she is back in the office, that I am not so alone anymore. And seeing her is perfect because I need a refill on one of my meds.

I have been tired most of the day. I had a bad pain flare up last night and I didn’t get to bed till after 0200. I slept until around 8 when I had to go to the bathroom. I went back to sleep and then some jerk with a private number called around 1030. They left a blank message. It pissed me off and I then I just got up. I had a couple of phone calls to make anyways, on behalf of my father.

I am watching my niece tonight until her father comes home. She and I just finished eating pizza and fries. She is watching movies on her Kindle.

Speaking of Kindle, last night I decided to purchase and download two (2) songs. It turned into a nightmare. The AmazonMP3 app decided it was going to download ALL (1460 of them!) the songs I have ever purchased from them. I couldn’t get it to stop so I uninstalled the app. I was bullshit. I really just wanted to hear those songs I bought. Then the damn thing was downloading songs from a CD I purchased and was waiting to arrived. That was cool but the download was like half a song. It was terrible night. I was getting so annoyed and it was getting late. I was in horrible pain and irritable that I just couldn’t deal with it. I sent a couple of tweets to AmazonMP3 to let them know their app sucks.

I then decided, as I was in an irritable mood, to type up the short story I have been working on all week. I must have typed up half a page when I realized what I wrote sounded a little psychotic and incoherent. Of course, when I first wrote it, it made sense at the time. So I just omitted the incoherent part. By that time, the Ativan was kicking in and it was close to three in the morning so I went to bed.

I don’t know why my ankle flared up yesterday. It is better now and I hope it stays that way. I took a shower today and it kind of didn’t like me standing on it so I took a pain pill because I thought I would have to walk to pick up my niece. But my sister texted me saying she was getting out of work early and she would pick her up from school, then drop her off at the house. Sounded good to me as I wasn’t sure what the streets around the school were like, if they were shoveled or not.

It’s the sleepy hour. I am trying to resist taking a nap but I am fricken cold and just want to go under the covers. I know that if I do, I will wake up around 2300 and be up for several hours. I have made a deal with myself that if I read up to 750 pages in my Civil War book, I will start Dostoevsky’s “Idiot”. That book is also a mouthful and wordy but I like Dostoevsky’s books. I read this book in college for a Russian reading class. Russia has always fascinated me. I really would love to go to St. Petersburg one day, but I think that will be just a dream.