I didn’t realize I gave my former therapist a paper I wrote during my sophomore year (circa 1992) in high school. I was reading it and I think I am going to type it up for a blog but edit out parts of it as it’s really detailed to where I grew up, unless you guys want me to put that stuff in there. I will have to edit names for confidentiality reasons.
I am wicked busy tomorrow so I will type it up either Friday or this weekend. It’s in my handwriting in block letters. That is how I wrote back then, different from what it is today and with blue ink! I primarily use black ink today.
It talks about my old dreams. I had to put it down because it brought back some strong memories. This was before I was diagnosed with psychosis a few months later and making my first suicide attempt 2 months after I wrote it. A lot of my childhood is written in there, where I am not comfortable sharing because it brings back such strong memories of the way things were and they were tough days. My father was a true bastard and I held him on a pedestal for a long time until I found out just how rotten he was. I lost my faith, love, and respect for the guy in certain ways. I never believed a word he said after what I found out. I doubt that the guy loved anyone but himself more than anything in the world. I don’t write about this in my paper, least I don’t think I did. I had to stop at page 7 and it’s 12 pages long. I got an A on it.