Painsomnia strikes again

I haven’t slept all night. I managed a couple of hours but my mother is having a closet built so the noise is distracting. I woke up from a bad dream. In the dream I was going into cardiac arrest. Then when I wake up my pcp calls to reschedule my Sept echo appt to tomorrow.

In the middle of the night I sent a message to my therapist and she was like this needs to said in session. So she set up an appt for tomorrow morning. I had wanted to go grocery shopping but now it doesn’t look like it.

I had written in my message to her that I feel like I am incompetent with her and am not enough. I also said that I feel like I am a disappointment. It just feels that way because I am not too engaging in sessions. I am really nervous about meeting in person because I feel like I did something wrong again. I’m sure I will hear about it tomorrow. I just checked the schedule and whomever scheduled picked the wrong therapist with the same last name. I am not happy about this.

I am very tired so this blog is going to be short. I just wanted to write this down because it makes me feel better. Hope I can get another few hours sleep.