Category: depression

Sweaty day

It is still hot out. House is like a million degrees. I keep sweating so much just having coffee or something to eat. I only had enough half and half for one cup of coffee. My cousin took me grocery shopping and I bought some deli meats. I tried the prosciutto. Don’t care for it. I had some roast beef that was good. I need to make the bacon before it goes bad but it is too hot to make it.

I made an afternoon ice coffee. I met with the interim social worker until I have a long term therapist. It went ok. He is going to send me some plan and skills to help with my ADLs. I was able to shave my head but still haven’t showered yet. My side is hurting me for some reason. It has all week. I have no urinary symptoms. Those have cleared up. But I have noticed my pee is pale yellow all the time. Don’t know if that is good or not. I am trying to keep hydrated in this heat. Yesterday all I did was sleep most of the day. I woke up not knowing what the hell day it was.

I feel tired. I slept ok last night only getting up this morning to pee. I had some weird dreams that caused headaches. Thankfully I didn’t need to take anything for them. The coffee did nothing for my energy levels. I am practically falling asleep as I am typing this. I guess that is all I have for today.

Today was really hot. I went to my pcp’s office and dropped off my books. Most of the staff got a copy and I signed each one. By the time I got home, I was soaked. I drank some water and some powerade. I feel like shit and I have flank pain. I haven’t eaten. I am not really hungry. Just really tired. I have a burger if I get hungry later.

I feel really bad mentally. I feel like I would be better off dead. I feel so useless. I got a shitload of financial worries. I made some appts with the social worker so maybe that will be good. I met him today. He seems really nice. He knew me when I was in a rough spot. I didn’t know his name but he knew who I was.

I’m still having chest pain. NP said I could use diclofenac gel for it. I just feel so rotten mentally and physically. It’s exhausting.

I’m feeling meh. It’s hot in the house and I can only take so much of it so been in my room most of the day but haven’t had energy to do anything. I managed to wash my face and brush my teeth. I haven’t shaved my head yet. I took out some of the recycling but the heat got to me. I had ice cream for lunch. Someone at the last of my waffles and my piece of rum cake I took from the party. It wasn’t a good morning.

My pcp’s RN got in touch with me about my depression. She spoke with the team and I will meet with the social worker a few times until I have a long term therapist set up. I’ll be going to the office tomorrow to drop off my book and poster.

I didn’t sleep good last night. I woke up around 0030 and I stayed up till dawn. Allergies were killing me so I ended up taking benadryl for some relief and sleep. I am tired.