Category: depression

Saturday Blog 15012022

I am feeling fatigued and weak today. I was up for about a half hour during the night because I had to pee. Then my bladder got me out of bed around 1115. I had a lot of urine in my bladder. It has been the only urge I have had today. I had two big glasses of water and a cup of coffee and I don’t have an urge to go. The left side of my back and rib cage are hurting me today. I put some heat on it and will try a tennis ball to see if that helps loosen some of the muscles.

I am indecisive today. I can’t decide if I want to print out the memoir I am working on or edit it by screen. I might go old school and print it out. Won’t be today though. I am not feeling well enough to edit.

I just had dinner and I am quite full. My brother in law brought up lemon squares so I had that as dessert. It was very good. My mother is making chicken wings with BBQ sauce for her dinner. If I get hungry later, I will have that to snack on.

I tried to nap but my back pain was too much and I couldn’t get comfortable. I had to take some ibuprofen. I am doing more things with my arm, trying to get it used to doing things again. The doc said that the fracture is fully healed but because of my arm pain, not to do any strengthening. I just wish I knew why the muscles around my ribs and shoulder blade hurt so much. I have been putting heat on all day. Soon as my stomach settles for a bit, I plan on making a cup of tea and putting heat on again.

I have a fairly easy week coming up. I just have PT and therapy. I want to get a latte one of these days. I got a lot of Starbucks money for Christmas. I wish I could spend hours there like I used to. Just not worth the risk of catching Covid.

Daily ADLs and other things

I had a difficult time sleeping last night. I couldn’t find a comfortable position for my left arm and my right arm kept going to sleep on me and would be painful after a while so I would have to move it. I finally got some decent sleep between 8 and 12p, though the way I slept hurt my back. I brushed my teeth as I didn’t do it yesterday. I also showered though it killed my back. I had to sit down at least four times. Both feet cramped up at different time during the shower. That was fun.

Yesterday I was in a rotten mood and all I wanted to do was sleep or lie down. I didn’t want to leave my bed at all. I forced myself to have something to eat around 4pm. I made a thanksgiving wrap with turkey, cranberry sauce, and stuffing. It was very good. I then had stuffing and cranberry sauce until I was full. I might have another wrap today as I have left over stuffing.

I thought about getting out of the house today and getting a haircut. But it is supposed to snow and I don’t want to be out in it. I don’t really need a haircut as my hair isn’t that long. I just want it shorter than what it is right now. I really want to go to Starbucks and get a grilled cheese from them. And a mocha.

Yesterday I talked with the surgeon. He thinks I have inflammation in the capsule near my shoulder but I told him the pain is in my upper arm not really my shoulder. I told him I wanted to do PT more than get an injection so he said no strengthening just movement PT and exercises that focuses on range of motion. I can’t wait to see her Tues evening. It has been two weeks since I last saw her and I have not done any exercises because of pain.

I made a cup of tea. I need something warm but I don’t want coffee. Coffee has had the opposite effect on me. Instead of keeping me awake, it sedates me. But I do need at least one cup just to get the cobwebs out of my head. The cup of tea went right through me. I had to pee soon after finishing it.

I took Miralax today because I haven’t moved my bowels all week. I feel really backed up. Yesterday I must have texted my therapist like four times. I was in such a mood and wanted her to know about it. I didn’t care if she didn’t respond. I was really miserable yesterday. My cousin pissed me off because she thought almost falling meant falling apparently. I haven’t heard from her today at all and I don’t even wish to speak to her right now.

As Charlie Brown says, “Good Grief”

I am in a mood that doesn’t want to do a damn thing. I had a cup of coffee and some biscuits. Then I had therapy. I was “quiet”. I was in pain throughout the session. My arm hurts so bad. She had me take some pain meds during session. I am to try and shower and brush my teeth more. Now I just want to go to bed.

I should call the pharmacy but I am not in the fucking mood to deal with idiots today. According to the app, my blood pressure med will be ready in five days from now. Unacceptable. I have just a three day supply right now as they only gave me five pills on Friday. I am bullshit it is taking so long for this medication to be filled. I am seriously considering going to the pharmacy that will be tough to get to rather than deal with this. Just got a message from them and they will report this to their manager. I had filed a complaint Friday over this bullshit.

My chest is hurting today. I really need to put some heat on it. I just don’t want to move. I want to sleep. Or at least lay down in bed. Today is my mother’s birthday. We are having a party later for her and ordering Chinese food. I cannot wait and hope that I have an appetite by then. I also hope I feel like socializing with my family because right now I just want to stay in my room and be in bed.