‘People are tip-toeing around me’

I understand what this woman is going through. I am where she is at.

kayakembe's avatarWhat happens now?

“Life hurts,” the emailed comment began.

What followed is the note that we’ve posted below. It’s a simple, clear description of what it can feel like after an attempt. It also points out so well the need for resources for family, friends and colleagues of attempt survivors that we immediately wanted to publish it.

“Of course you have my permission to post it on the site,” Toni replied. She was more than happy to share her story and even agreed to use her full name, though we decided on just her first name for now. (She can yell at us if she likes … or write another post later on.)

View original post 1,568 more words

suicide attempt survivors

Suicide attempters can be a challenge to clinicians. How to deal with this population that is at risk for attempting again? Research suggests that asking how they feel about their attempt might be useful. In a study in 2005 by Henriques et. Al, found that those that were glad to be alive or were ambivalent did not go on to kill themselves, where as those that felt they intended to die were 2.5 times likely greater to end their life later. This could explain why people attempt suicide once and never do it again and why some people continue to try.

I am a multi-suicide attempt survivor. And I think death is the answer to my problem yet I am still here. Now that could be because of my reasons to live vs. my reasons to die ratio is not high enough or because I suck at trying to kill myself. Another reason is that by chance I am not meant to die, that my time truly has not come but I digress. There were nights I hated myself for surviving my attempts and I still do. According to all the research, I should be dead. My therapist calls this exception to the rule. Maybe I am but I still try to plan my death.

I was not glad that I survived the attempt. I was not feeling ambivalent. But I think some people do have these and they go on living. Yes they have attempted but it also brought to them a realization that they were glad they survived. Something I have never experienced.

Reactions to how an attempter feels after can be an important clinical assessment. Something that might not be used across all clinicians. In this assessment it could perhaps lead to preventions because suicide attempters are more likely to try again. Maybe if we ask how they felt when they first survived, we might find a clue and prevent another attempt through clinical intervention.

© copyright 2013: Collerone, G