Not feeling good today. Pain kept me up most of the night and it still is rearing its ugly head today. I was able to sneak in a shower and I think that is what flared it up.
I had coffee today and got a burst of energy to do my editing but I got snagged to babysit and got derailed. Now with my pain meds on board, editing is probably not going to happen. I have been looking over the last few pages and I think its dumb so I am waiting for those feelings to go away before I get back to it. I know I have an editor now but I still have a few things to work out before I can give her my work. I have until the end of March to give her my stuff. It’s going to be a LONG three months. But I am hoping that once I get all my ducks in a row I will feel a little more confident about the book.
This pain is driving me up a wall. I knew I would be hurting today. I really want to go back to sleep but I am kind of hungry, even though I had a huge burger for lunch. I still have a quarter of it left but the thought of eating anything more today is making me queasy. I guess all that grease is making me feel a little sick.
It’s kind of cold today. My room is freezing. I don’t need a room refrigerator for my Gatorade bottles because it is that cold in my room. I should put on my long sleeved t-shirt but I am not that cold and besides after I write this blog I think I am going to try and take a nap. If my ankle lets me rest. I hate that anything I do depends on the ankle. Sometimes I say the hell with it and do things anyway but it always costs me.
I have not read anything since the other night. I am reading touched with fire by Kay Redfield Jamisen. I had read the part where they had discovered that creativity is dependent on mood states. I know this is true. Some of my work is best done when I am depressed and in despair. But if I am in a “normal” mood, it is so difficult to write. It is like pulling teeth to get the words out. Or I have no inclination to write at all. Then if I am really, really, depressed words flow like water. If I am in an agitated type of depression, I have to constantly be writing and can’t stop until I get the words out. I guess those are the days when I write multiple blogs and journal. I don’t know if what I write makes sense during these times. I know that some of it can be pretty dark because I am in a dark place. It’s really strange to me that I can’t write when my mood is up but I don’t have the energy to do anything. It is really frustrating at times.
I was at Starbucks yesterday and a lady sat across from me with her book. It was titled, “Dark Places”. I thought it might have to do with depression but it was a totally different kind of dark place the author was writing about. Killings and stuff like that. I give credit to those authors that can write like that. I don’t think I have it in me to write something sinister and evil. My demons are enough to handle.
midnightdemons7 