it’s about suicide not a love story

My niece gave me a copy of Office 2013 the other day. It took a couple of hours to download. It was a trial version so I didn’t pirate anything and she is not the type to do such a thing. Anyways, after it downloaded I couldn’t use it anymore because it had passed its user quota. But the damn thing messed up my 2010 settings and it took me awhile to fix. Now all is right with the world.

I had a scary dream last night, or should I say this morning. It had something to do with my nephew and my surviving aunt. I don’t remember more than that but it was like death was looming over them. I hate those kind of dreams.

I tried to sleep most of the day because I am still not feeling well. I hate colds. They just drain the life out of you. And because my voice is affected, I can’t use my Dragon software to type this up. Bummer! I just think it’s cool that I got software that I can hopefully use so I don’t have to type all the time.

I heard back from the editor of the AAS blog. She liked my article and wanted some stats. So I gave her some to put in the blog. Now I hope I don’t have to wait three months for her to publish it, but I understand if there are more pressing articles than mine. I am just happy I am writing again for this blog.

My mood kind of sucks right now. I don’t know how much of it is because of this cold or if it is just the depression. I just want to sleep and losing an hour last night didn’t help. I woke up around midnight and didn’t go back to sleep till 0430 only to wake up around 0830. I fell back to sleep around 10ish and then woke up around 2. I was hungry so made something to eat. Now I just want to go back to sleep. I have an 1130 appointment tomorrow with my therapist. That is going to be fun as usually I am not really awake at that hour. I am always waking up before seven. But I don’t usually have the energy to do things. Sure I am sick and that might be the reason why I feel so lousy. I just can’t help but think that it is more that my depression is getting worse instead of better like I thought it was. I still have no interest in things. I really am behind on my reading. I haven’t touched Far From the Tree in weeks. Only book that I picked up was The Savage God. I still remember reading one of the reviews for it and she said that it was a depressing book. Well, duh. It’s on suicide not a love story!

I just recently bought another new book called Super Brain. It’s by Deepra Chopka and Rudy Tanzi. I am a follower of Tanzi on twitter and he keeps quoting from the book so I had to get it. I loved his first book on Alzheimer’s. He has been in the neuroscience field for quite sometime now and I have been following his career since his first book. Granted I have been lax in it for the past couple of years, only because I no longer have access to research search engines like pubmed and psychlit. One of the perks that I had when I had my job at the hospital where he also worked. I would so love to have access to the research database again. I really miss following Jobes, too. But if I get my butt back to school, I will have access to all of that and more.

Course my pattern has been to buy books or receive them and have them collect dust for a while before I pick them up. I have about eight books now that are just waiting to be read. And I don’t have the inclination to read them. It sucks when my depression takes my reading away from me. Not only is it hard to concentrate but I lose interest in what I am reading more often than not. Or lately, I just want to finish the chapter and move on to something else but I can’t seem to read fast enough to do so. It’s like everything is so slow. My thought process is so slow. And it really hurts, not in the physical sense, but in the psychic sense. It’s already March and I have yet to finish one book I started last year. I usually read at least three books at a time. Now I am lucky if I read one. It’s not like I don’t have the time, I do. It’s just I don’t have an interest and it bothers me because I love reading. I am going to try and read something tonight, before I go to bed.