I really wanted to go out today but my need for sleep overrode my desire to leave my bed. I slept pretty good so I don’t know why I am so tired. I kept on giving myself times to get ready, like I will take the 1 pm bus. When that didn’t work out, I said I would take the 2 pm bus. That didn’t work out either. So now it’s too late for coffee but I might make a cup of tea. I think that will get me out of this tired funk I am in.
Only thing that I did today was make pancakes. I still am full from them. I don’t have an appetite. My mother is making her stuffed chicken breasts tonight. Just glad I don’t have to fend for myself. Otherwise I would not eat.
I feel depressed today for some reason. With my plans canceled tomorrow, I have nothing to do. I have therapy tonight. Just hope that I can be awake enough for it to make sense.
I read a blog today about how this blogger finally got her psych diagnosis, from a psychiatrist. It was something she wasn’t expecting but sounded like her and her therapist were ready to handle it. She was really mad that she has PTSD. She didn’t say how she got it, and I didn’t go fishing through her blog to find out. Anyone can have PTSD. I even have it, though it’s not prominent in my life. I don’t get flashbacks anymore, only when my pain flares up and I can’t move my toes. That is really the only time I will start flipping out and take Ativan. I will take Ativan for spasms, too. But it’s rare these days as my pain is well controlled. The last time I remember having PTSD symptoms was when I was in the hospital and I was in severe pain.
Seeing as I am not doing anything tomorrow, I might get my haircut. I just have to figure out of I want to get it cut in my town or in Boston. I probably will have it done at in my town as I can just come home and shower afterwards. It’s always a pain when I want to get my haircut because I sometimes don’t get it the way that I want it cut. And it all comes down to gender haircuts. I prefer a male haircut because I am male. Yet I have a body of a woman so I get stereotyped. I often get a double take when I say I want a double zero on the back and sides and short and spiky on top. I don’t understand why they can’t follow my directions. I know what I want and I know what I like, so why are you giving me a funny look? I am tempted to go to downtown Boston because I really liked the girl that gave me my cut last time but with my fatigue and the walking involved, I don’t think I can make it. The weather is supposed to be warmer so maybe I will. I don’t know.
I still have yet to empty my recycles or throw away another box like I said I would. I don’t know how I got a collection of boxes in my room. I still have the printer box but I am going to hang on to that one just in case something goes wrong with it. Problem is, my brother in law has moved the recycle bin to his back porch rather than the front. So now I have to go down the stairs and through his house, to get to the recycle bin. It’s a pain in the ass.
midnightdemons7 