Morning post
Thought I would write more than one post today, if I feel like it. So this is the morning one.
I’ve been up since 0630. I had to pee and then by the time I got back to my room, I couldn’t go back to sleep. So I played my game and some poker. I lost at least 1 million chips, mostly to 2 pairs, so it wasn’t a big deal. During the last few hands I was playing, there was a creepy guy and I felt like he was looking at me. I know it was just a picture of himself but still, the way it looked, just creeped me out. I had to leave the table.
I really can’t wait to get the new glasses because I can’t see how many chips are in my little bank while playing. Sometimes I can make it out but if I have 600,000 or 800,000 chips, I can’t really distinguish between the two. The print is small. I suppose I could play with the zoom feature for the browser to see if I can adjust it but really don’t feel like it. It might change everything and I would hate to go back and forth. I don’t know what I am going to do when I don’t have my private insurance anymore and I can’t see my eye doctor. I guess I will pay out of pocket, but even then, it is going to be costly. But I will worry about that next year.
My mother wants me to go to the post office to return some stuff for her. She opened the package and thinks she can return it without postage. Good luck. Doesn’t work that way. I have tried that before it didn’t work. I don’t think I will be going out today because I already had my coffee. If I am going to be up this early in the morning, I am having coffee, dammit! I should work on my psychosis story and edit it. I just looked at the document. I am about 93 words short of 2000 words. I printed it out so I don’t have to read from the computer screen. I don’t know how editors can work from the computer but I give them credit. I am old fashioned and need to work from paper.
I just put on a heavier sweatshirt because it’s cold in my room. It’s only 34 degrees out. I don’t know if it is going to warm up or not. I need to go to Stop and Shop and pick up my prescription as well as fish and chips. Ever since I told my friend about it, I have been wanting this meal. I sometimes detest the online delivery service because you have to buy a minimum of $60 or $70 worth of food before you get it delivered. In other words, you can’t just have one or two items delivered. Maybe next month I can order groceries as I have an extra $90 in my pocket. I still cannot believe I did that. I forgot I got royalties yesterday. So that helps. It’s not much, only $20 but, hell, $20 is $20. Next month will be a little more because I sold more books. I wish there could be one month where I could sell 20 books. That would make my quota and reach my goal for the year. But I am dreaming. I guess I will have to be satisfied with 87 books sold. I never got the review from the AAS. And I don’t think I will. I feel really sad about this.
My mood is up at the moment. But I think that is the coffee talking. I am going to try and stay awake the next couple of hours because I have my therapy appointment then. It’s still early for me to get my sister’s car and pay her a visit but I don’t feel like getting dressed. I really don’t feel like do anything today but read or play games on the computer. I still have to read Dostoevsky’s book and see Myshkin crash the party, if I remember correctly. It’s always exciting to me reading his books. But I know that if I read them now, it will wear me out. It take real concentration to read Dostoevsky and besides, the small print also makes it difficult to read, even with glasses!
I hope my mood stays the same throughout the day. I really don’t want to crash but it’s been two days like this and I feel like I will crash soon. It all depends on how hard. Oh, the evil depression. Will I suffer immensely or just a little bit? I will not know. I wish I could up my medication or something to ward off the crash but there is really nothing I can take to avoid it. I am not looking forward to it, in the least. It is going to suck, big time.
midnightdemons7 