Author: Midnight Demon

Sunday blog 05122021

Yesterday was a bad day. I wasn’t feeling well mentally so I stayed in bed all day and slept. I only got up in the morning to have my habit coffee cup and a bowl of cereal. It was the only thing I ate all day. I woke up two times during the night. I don’t think I took my two bladder pills at 4 like I was supposed to. I didn’t care. One of those pills is very constipating and I still haven’t moved my bowels until today.

I need to shower today. I also want to trim my beard and shave my head. My beard is very scraggly.

I am very tired today. I have a busy week. Tomorrow I see ortho for my shoulder and then I have therapy. Tues I see an oral surgeon for consult for my wisdom teeth. Then I have to get my blood drawn for the research study I am in. This is in the morning then in the afternoon I have PT. Wed I will try and get my groceries delivered. They are still working on my front porch so I don’t want them delivered just yet. They should be finished working by then, as long as it doesn’t rain.

I have had Taylor’s songs running through my head all day. Mostly, they have been her new songs. I might switch to Mary Chapin Carpenter’s Christmas album next week. I haven’t heard her in a long time. My birthday is in 18 days. I was thinking of getting filet mignon for the family but those steaks are wicked expensive. The butcher might have them cheaper than the grocery store. I have to look. I also need to get more American cheese as we used our last package. My mother is a mouse as she eats a lot of it.

My sister called me asshole again today for something her son did. I am so sick of her blaming for things he does. Pisses me off.

Trouble (Taylor’s version)

I had a cup of coffee with two snickerdoodle cookies this morning. Around noon I had my mother make me an omelet and I had it with coffee and toast. I had to get ready for my appointment so I looked at the bus schedules. One bus was coming in a few minutes and another in fifteen. It was still a little early but I decided to get ready anyway and head to the bus stop. Soon as I started walking down the street my legs felt heavy, like I was walking in mud. By the time I got to the plaza, my back was starting to hurt too and I was hoping there was minimal walking from the train when I got to my eye exam. I hadn’t been there before so I didn’t know the area.

The place was across the street from the train station. It was convenient but long. I got to the appointment with five minutes to spare. The eye doctor was nice. My prescription changed and she noticed that I had prism-something in my right eye. She asked if I saw double and I said I used to. She asked if there was prism-something in my glasses. I said no because the double vision didn’t get any worse. In fact, it has been a long while since I last saw double. She wanted to do the expensive eye test but I declined. I hate the exam because I have to do it multiple times because I blink and you have to have your eye open. I am a frequent blinker, lol.

On the way home, Trouble was playing. I swear every time I hear this song I get something new from it. A lyric will just hit me and I will think hard about it. Then I think of her video and I shake my head. I didn’t like the video she made for this song.

I went on the Zenni website to look for new glasses. I found a frame I like. I just hope I can get progressive lenses with it. I haven’t gone that far in my search because when you look at the lenses you got to put in your prescription and I didn’t feel like it. When I am ready to get my lenses I will.

I am really tired. I again was very out of breath when I got home. That little incline up my street kills me every single time. It has been eight weeks since I broke my shoulder. Monday I go back to ortho to see if I can do more exercises with my shoulder. Today it is hurting something awful. It started on the way home. I placed my hands behind my back and it didn’t like that at all.

I’ve been thinking about my appointment yesterday with my uro. I am basically taking four medications for my bladder. FOUR. I take three for psych and two for hypertension. I counted up my meds that I take a day and it is eighteen. Eighteen pills a day I take and that doesn’t include my as needed meds, the ibuprofen, BT med, Ativan, or Zofran. I hate taking meds. But I can’t not take them.

Docs leaving

Yesterday I got a message from my primary care office that my pcp will be leaving as of Jan. Today I had an appointment with my urologist and she told me she is leaving in Jan as well. Two good docs gone from the same institution. Now I am to see a creepy old doc as he is the only other neuro urologist in the department. I am hoping to see his PA as I was told he was better so we’ll see. I am upset that I am down two doctors in the same time. I knew my pcp would be leaving soon as he found someone to take his place and I guess he found someone. Until they get introduced I am to see the covering doctor for my PCP needs.

I sent my therapist and psych a letter about this and that my bladder is fucked up. It is atonic in addition to being neurogenic. Basically it doesn’t function like it should anymore. This is from nerve damage from the tethered cord and cauda equina syndrome. Treatment for it is more medication. She gave me another bladder med, wants me to resume taking Flomax, and increase the dose of my muscle relaxant tizanidine. I have to go through my neuro for dosage adjustment for the tizanidine. She also wants me to see a pelvic floor specialist before she leaves. I don’t know if that is possible. I got to call tomorrow and see if I can get an appointment even though I am going to PT for my shoulder and back. She wants to see if loosening the tight muscles will help my bladder.

I went to the pharmacy to pick up the new bladder med. I also picked up meds for my sister. The line was so damn long and not moving for a while. It really sucked but while I was waiting, I saw some snickerdoodle cookies and snagged them. They were only a buck so I will have them tomorrow with my morning coffee. I came home and was short of breath. The little hill always makes me short of breath when I go up my street. I also had to walk the length of the driveway to my sister’s apartment because the front stairs are being worked on and we can’t use the front door. I think we can tomorrow as I saw the yellow tape was down. My mother made spaghetti with sauce so I had some. It was very good. There was a sausage in the gravy so I had that. It was so good and hit the spot.

I am tired. I had woken up around 0030 last night and couldn’t go back to sleep. So I colored. It calmed me down enough that I could go back to sleep. Tomorrow I have my eye exam. I haven’t received my insurance card but I have it on my phone if they need it. I also didn’t get my new credit card that I planned on using to get new glasses. They will have to wait. I might get them online as they are cheaper. The glasses I am wearing I got online and only paid less than a hundred bucks for it.