I just came home from running an errand for my sister. As I was approaching my house, I got a severe attack of dizziness. I swear I was drunk as I couldn’t walk straight or stand straight and felt like I was going to pass out. The feeling has passed but soon as I came back up the stairs, the feeling returned. I fear that if I lie down, I am going to pass out. It wouldn’t be a bad thing as I feel like crap anyways. But I am afraid of vomiting as I am nauseous. My back is cramping really bad. I have been drinking powerade because I think I am dehydrated. I also think I am going through withdrawal from one of my psych meds as I haven’t taken it all week. I skipped a couple doses because I just have been too tired to fill my pill box from the stress of this week. I plan on taking it tonight because this feeling of dizziness and shakiness and syncope sucks.
I had therapy today. I was feeling awful while I was talking with her and shouldn’t have left the house. I really haven’t been eating or drinking anything the past few days, though my urine is clear so I don’t think I am dehydrated, unless I am in renal failure. But I think I would feel a lot worse if that was the case. I had some pancakes for breakfast and some mac and cheese. I felt better after eating and thought I was okay. I didn’t expect the vertigo sensation to return so quickly. It seems to happen when I am in motion so I have been trying to stay still as much as possible. I’m also very sleepy.
I don’t remember what I talked about in therapy. I know we talked about my father some more and about what was going on in the Twitter world. She asked if my plans were still on and I said I don’t know. It depends on a couple of factors. I think I am not going to go through with it but I might. She wants me to keep her posted.