Category: depression

Semester is over

Today was the last day of class but I had an exam today. I didn’t know the fucking red line was going to have shuttle busses south of Boston. I had to take a shuttle bus to the station and then take the university shuttle to campus. I was a few minutes late to class but still had plenty of time to take the exam. I was done in like 20 mins or so. It was so easy and some of the questions were from the assessments that we took so I knew the right answer. I hope I did well on it and grades come in by the end of the week so I can make a decision about taking the final or not. I plan on studying tomorrow and rest of the week.

I couldn’t stand my stink last night so took a shower and then put deodorant on. I was bored after my shower. But my allergies were out of control so I took a Benadryl after I took some Ativan because my back was cramping so bad after the shower. I was pretty much toast by 9pm. I did wake up a little after midnight to pee but was able to get back to sleep. I got up around 1040. I had one cup of coffee and then I left. I left at a later time and wish I didn’t because of the shuttle situation. I was stressing out big time about it.

I wanted Taco Bell for dinner so I ordered my gorditas. They were so good. I just took the Latuda because I had a good amount of calories. If it makes me sleepy, oh well. I asked my pcp for a muscle relaxant. She is sending one to the pharmacy. I hope it helps these stupid cramps. Sox are on tonight. They are playing Atlanta Braves. I don’t know how the Braves have been doing. But it doesn’t matter as the Sox will do the opposite of how well or poor they are.

I ordered my proof. It should hopefully come in by Thursday. If all looks good, I might publish Friday or the weekend. I don’t know yet. I am really nervous about it because I really didn’t change the tenses while editing it because it was hard to find where they were. I am still mad at the editor for not doing the work for me. That was the whole point in hiring her. Lesson learned.

I have therapy tomorrow. I wrote down some stuff to talk about. I don’t know if it will be enough for the whole session but we’ll see. I took an Ativan because cramps were bad and now I feel sleepy. I might lay down for a bit. Game is on in like an hour. I will rest until then. Hope I don’t fall asleep or I will be up at 2am again.

Book Announcement III

I did some editing yesterday so today I moved forward to get the paperback published before the eBook became available. Unfortunately, I am not happy I can’t have the transgender flag as the cover of my book because Amazon needs a pdf not a jpg and I don’t know how to manipulate the image to make it right. I picked a boring cover. I am waiting for the proof email and if all looks good, I will publish hopefully the end of the week, if I get the proof within the next few days. I will publish the link in a separate blog post when live.

It was warm today but I didn’t go out. I went outside though. I sat on my front porch and studied. I really hope I can remember all these words by tomorrow. I have been working on it all weekend. I have been going over the quizzes and tests keys that the professor posted. He put up a couple more today. I have an 85 average. I am so happy. I am still on the fence as to whether I will take the final.

My sleep was disrupted again last night. I woke up around 0230 to pee and had a wicked hard time getting back to sleep. I read a chapter of Norse Mythology. I had a headache so I took some Tylenol. I finally fell back to sleep around 6. I wanted to get up at 10 but I didn’t. I got up around 1230. I had coffee and leftover pizza. Not sure what I am going to have for dinner. Might be a turkey frozen dinner. I wanted to go to the grocery store today but never made it out. I might go tomorrow after my exam. I can’t believe the semester is over.

I need to shower today. I smell. And I don’t remember the last time I showered. I shaved my head today and it felt so good. My replacement trimmer is on its way. My stupid sister lost the charger for my new trimmer. Luckily, the price came down so I was able to buy another one. Now I have two trimmers. I have to try and get more fluids in me. My sides have been cramping so bad lately. I’ve been taking everything I can that would help but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I still have the pain in my chest.

Saturday Blog 04052024

I had my meeting with my DMH case worker yesterday. I was so tired afterwards. I came home and just crashed. I didn’t eat or drink anything other than the cup of coffee before I left. I didn’t get up till this morning. I have been feeling kind of shitty the past few days. I still haven’t eaten anything today. I think I am going to make a Shepard’s pie if I have it.

Grades finally came in and I have a B average. I am so happy about this. I am still not sure if I am going to take the final or not. I might just to see if I can improve my grade some. I am going to study a lot this weekend so I can get a good grade. The material is fairly easy but knowing the different theories of emotion has me all confused. They are similar but different.

I’m listening to Tortured Poets again. One of her songs was stuck in my head again. I love this album so much. I don’t know what my favorite song is. There have been at least three songs I have put on repeat. Florida!!! Is my one of them. The beat of this song is so cool. And the lyrics are awesome.

I just had something to eat and I want to take a nap. I am trying to resist. I am listening to the game now. They are tied at 1 in the 5^th. I don’t know why I am so tired. I slept good. I have to try and force fluids today as I have the runs again. I didn’t go for like three days and then today it’s flowing. I think the new magnesium pill I am taking is the culprit. But if I don’t take the mag, I get really bad cramps in my feet.

I am so excited that I now have time to read. I started Norse Mythology again but haven’t gotten into it because I had other reading to do. Now that the semester is winding down, I can read it. I bought a bunch of books and really can’t wait to read them. If the weather is good tomorrow, I might go to Starbucks and read for a bit. I haven’t been to Starbucks in more than a week. I miss having espresso.