Category: depression

Saturday Blog 18122021

I got my new glasses today and I was stumped as to which ones were the transition and which weren’t. The ones with transition I plan on wearing all the time and just use the second pair as a backup to when I am sick of the frames. I like both glasses so it was hard to choose which one to wear but the rim frame is the transition so I am going with that.

I have been having a rough day staying awake. It’s 4pm and I am having a second cup of coffee with my dinner, which is just some quiche as I didn’t want to make a pot pie again. I have some pasta stuff but I would be the only one who eats it because of the salt content. My mother can’t eat it because of her heart condition, though she will probably eat the leftovers.

I woke up twice during the night due to having to pee. The first time was a bad dream that I don’t even remember and the second time was to pee. And did I have to go. I didn’t drink that much while I was up but my bladder was sure full when I got up around 6. I was able to quickly go back to sleep and then wake up a couple of hours later when my med alarm went off. I still didn’t get up right away. I vaguely remember having coffee and biscuits this morning. I was so tired after drinking the coffee. It was like I took a sedative. I took a nap for about three hours, waking up to pee again. I am not surprised because I had a couple glasses of water after I had my coffee and I didn’t empty before taking my nap.

I still am tired and my shoulder is sore. It is snowing so I think the weather is playing a part in my fatigue. Tomorrow afternoon I see my uro. I am glad because I have a few questions for her. I want to know if my bladder scan is worse than the previous one and if I need to see my neurosurg for it because it is getting bad again. I hope not but I am just keeping an open mind on the whole thing.

I looked up arthrogram on the web and found they do inject the joint with dye. OUCH. I will be taking 2 BT meds with me when I go for this study. I got to call Monday and schedule it. I think I can just call radiology as the order is there for the test and I have a follow up with the surgeon in Jan. I did ask if I should continue with shoulder PT until we have results.

I need to make a decision about whether or not to shave my head again. I like it when it is bald but I got to do it every other day or so and my energy levels have been terrible. I am lucky I can shower at least once a week. Chronic pain has been awful to deal with. Every day my shoulder or my foot is acting up. Sometimes at the same time. I just can’t deal. I think I am going to go to bed early again tonight because I am just so damn tired. I wonder if increase in tizanidine is causing my drowsiness. It doesn’t seem to be helping my urethra, though I haven’t had spasms since the increase so maybe it is doing something. Today I had a strong urge while cathing and I didn’t think I was going to be able to hold back. I leaked around the cath a little bit but thankfully it wasn’t a lot. I hate when this happens.

Coloring and other things

Last night before I went to bed I colored a dinosaur picture. I wanted to do some self-care before bed. It had been a whole day of pain. Today I have slept little and so stayed in bed till noon. I took a shower. I wanted to shave my head but I just wasn’t feeling it.

The shoulder surgeon responded to my message. He wants to do a CT with dye to look at the shoulder and soft tissues. I tried calling but didn’t get anywhere. I will try on Monday. PT wanted me to book some more appointments so I did that. We might have to focus on my back more than my shoulder if this pain continues. I have been putting heat on it but it doesn’t seem to help. I have been taking ibuprofen and that helps a little bit.

My new glasses should be here today. I am patiently waiting for them to be delivered. It probably won’t be until after 5pm. I don’t know why our deliveries are at that time but it is. I just hope the prescription isn’t too strong.

I got a pot pie in the oven for dinner. I really like these pies. I am going to continue to order them and the turkey dinner. It is so good. I had cereal for breakfast with my coffee. I only managed to have one cup of coffee today. Maybe I will have my second cup after dinner.

My therapist is taking off the week after Christmas. I am glad. She hasn’t had vacation all year. I am going to relish having a week off therapy. I still have PT to go to. But that is a different therapy. Still tiring though. I think during the break, I will read the book “Trauma and Recovery”. I had started it but I never got into it. It was required reading while I was take a trauma psych class.

I am feeling depressed about being in pain and also about my birthday coming up. I am planning a dinner date as I want filet mignon and mashed potatoes. I will be buying the meat the day of my birthday so it is fresh. I know my mother is going to get me a daughter card. I mentioned it on Twitter and my favorite friend said that I was her brother. That made me feel better.

Shoulder pain and another night of no sleep

I was in a lot of pain last night. I kept waking up every four hours with my arm hurting me. I kept taking my BT meds and sleeping then waking up again in a few hours. It was terrible. I finally sent a message to the shoulder surgeon and am still waiting on what to do. My arm muscles are still sore. I mostly stayed in bed all day.  I am so tired.

Yesterday I met with my therapist in person and it went great. I felt like we covered some ground. She told me it was them and not me that had serious problems and that made me feel better. I thought I could make this a weekly thing but I think I got to ease into it. I am seeing her virtually on Mon.

My uro got in touch with me today. She wants to see me Sunday! So I said yes. There is a lot to cover. I still need to know if my bladder is worse than previous testing. I hope to get some answers when I see her. I don’t know when I will see the new doctor that I really don’t want to see.

My arm is still sore. I just took some more meds to try and calm it down. I don’t know why it is hurting so much. I haven’t done anything with it. I am tempted to use the sling again. I just want to sleep. I am going to nap for a bit before I have to take my night meds. I haven’t eaten much today. I don’t really have an appetite.

Will write tomorrow about today but here’s a baby bulldog